Beside the bank there's a set of stone steps lead way up off the promenade towards the estates and apartments on the hill. Steps look a bit like what yon priest threw himself down at the end of The Exorcist (were his eyes closed or open?), steps look a bit like the bass-line to "Human Behaviour".
"I think we should go up there" I'm sayin. "Up those steps."
And so we did.
At the top of those steps, with the lights of Donegal all chiming in the distance to the left and a fella in a Hawaiian shirt puking into a bin-bag to the right, with the month of May tied to the flick'rin street-lights, with the caffeine kicking lumps from out my ear-holes, with all of this, I say, at the top of those steps I kissed her.
Was beautiful. And yet, in the midst of it, a horrific realization. It can go no further, this affair.
The problem is Carole lives 'midst the giddy swirl of Belfast City, being a fair ol' shit's fling from the house in which I fall asleep every morning. The problem is that I know from experience, y'unnerstann, these long distance things, they never work out. Friend told me one time; "These long distance things" he said, "They never work out." And more - "Fact, they lead to nothin' but a hideous mush all laced with jealousy and longing and an itching in the groin can't ever be fixed no-time shortly."
Once upon a hangover, a fella woulda pretended all was right anyway, raced on down those barbed wire alleyways lead to a fumble and a fidget and a grand old tale to tell.
Carole, what I realized was she was special in the way that means she's special, and not slow. What I noticed was that no, I couldn't be pretending things were set to occur if'n I knew they weren't, and I knew they weren't. Because why, because the mush discussed up yonder, because nothing but screaming and wailing and gnashing will come from leading things t'wards any sorta boat they can't ever board, on account of the holes in the sides and the fires galloping mental 'round the stern.
"The boat" I said. "Fulla holes."
"What, now?"
I reached around the vocab for a word or two could aid me, a line or nine might explain the situation. What I got was; "The distance, this, these things, mush. This, this is all there can be…"
Article comments
1 - Mat Brewster
Welcome back, Duke.
2 - Mark Saleski
i just KNEW there was a good reason ta get out of bed this morning!
3 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
good to be back, fellas. thank you. my, this is hella much longer than it looked in microsoft word...
4 - Aaron Fleming
Hurrah! What a tale!
And I must recount that simultaneously to the Duke's magical moment I was standing in a chinese take-out with an Icelandic gentleman placed in front of me at an extremely close proximity. "Fucking move!" I yelled in my head, but it was futile. Alas...
5 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
hah, sir fleming, thank you, and i see potential for a Rashomon style version. "what happened was this..." "no, what happened was THIS!"
what was that telly show with Donnie Whalberg that did that, also? the cop number?
6 - Eric Berlin
Anthony Burgess meets James Joyce meets some other literary figure I know not of fuck flung and mind scrambled to 2006 like warped tounge bizarro-genius made real.
Or: I approve !
7 - DJRadiohead
Duke, you are the straw that stirs this place. In other words, we've missed having you around.
Great stuff, as always.
8 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Sirs Berlin and Dj, thank you. it feels hella good to have the scribblin goin on again, i was worried for a week or two, no doubt about that. now i got all sortsa crap fallin out the fingers. funny how these things work out.
9 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
and also, i must thank whoever spotlighted this wee tale. that was highly lovely and all sortsa gorgeous to wake up to.
10 - DJRadiohead
Fits and starts- I have the same thing. Weeks go by and I can't write shite and then I'll pen 4 things and do a podcast in the span of two days.
11 - steven
enjoyed the read. a way of words you have sir, What happens next? will enjoy hearin further mind waxes from you xxooxx
12 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
thank you, Steven. this particular tale ends here. a lovely friendship blossoms. our friends wander off t'wards ever more extravagant colours and shapes. and foo fighters records.
a new mind wax is in the writing, and should surface in the shortly-times, i would hope.
thanks again.
13 - Carole
this Carole chick sounds amazing with the purple whispers and all. What a lovely mind wax dear duke!