If a man's to discuss these matters anywhere, stands to reason it should be here.
A lass stumbles out the toilets singing "Come Out Ye Black And Tans." Nobody hears her.
Friend of ours, he's since joined us, face all awash with the glow from his lap-top. "Dear Jesus", he says, and we're all leaning over for to see.
On the screen, a lady being filthed in the bum by a gargantuan remote-controlled dildo loaded on springs. I doubt I've ever seen the like.
"Got it on the web-net" fella says, "It was supposed to be V For Vendetta."
S'been on his hard drive for three days now, hasn't slept a sleep worth two fucks since first it spat its muck cross his eyes.
"She keeps speeding it up", he's stammerin, "Damn thing can go no faster, you think, and no, there it goes, faster."
He takes a mouthful out a jug o' White Russian, the woman in his 'puter hollerin' demented out the speakers.
"Just keeps goin' faster…"
Carole arrives shortly thereafter.
"Hi" she says.
How I answer is Hi.
She's wearing this beautiful black dress, you should know, the eyes all purple whispers, the hair all down o'er her shoulders. When she speaks, you should be aware, the words look like tears, except when they look like shadows, in which case they look like shadows.
"You look beautiful" is what I woulda said, if'n I hadn't said something remarkably stupid about masturbation, some raggle-taggle bundle o' guff all rollin' out my face.
She walks to the bar like the faintest o' breezes 'pon wind chimes, returns with a pint o' cider and black. In the jukebox to the left of my brains, someone tosses a coin towards "Big Time Sensuality";
"I can sense it
Something important is about to happen"
"Is it?" Carole asks me, and I say I dunno, I say I don't know much of anything anymore.
She sits down beside me, and there's a moment right there, a second when it looks like she's gonna lean over, gonna lean over and what might happen is maybe a mouth-press of some sort, but no, The Cure come on the telly hung in the far-corner of the room, we listen to "Boys Don't Cry" and hope for a "Letter To Elise" that never materializes.
Earlier in the day, y'unnerstann, I'd been talking to Ryan H, friend of mine knows a thing or two about dirty chat and blasphemy. "Why haven't you kissed her yet?" he'd asked. "There's been banter and intimate revelations and by the jissom o' Christ she's said she's up for it." I'd shrugged. I'd said who knows, but most likely it's got something to do with the ol' Right Time and such, aye. I'm holdin' out for a moment when "Army Of Me" is playin' and the sky's all slate-grey etchings, makes it all the more compelling, you'll be aware, when it comes to telling the tale.
Article comments
1 - Mat Brewster
Welcome back, Duke.
2 - Mark Saleski
i just KNEW there was a good reason ta get out of bed this morning!
3 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
good to be back, fellas. thank you. my, this is hella much longer than it looked in microsoft word...
4 - Aaron Fleming
Hurrah! What a tale!
And I must recount that simultaneously to the Duke's magical moment I was standing in a chinese take-out with an Icelandic gentleman placed in front of me at an extremely close proximity. "Fucking move!" I yelled in my head, but it was futile. Alas...
5 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
hah, sir fleming, thank you, and i see potential for a Rashomon style version. "what happened was this..." "no, what happened was THIS!"
what was that telly show with Donnie Whalberg that did that, also? the cop number?
6 - Eric Berlin
Anthony Burgess meets James Joyce meets some other literary figure I know not of fuck flung and mind scrambled to 2006 like warped tounge bizarro-genius made real.
Or: I approve !
7 - DJRadiohead
Duke, you are the straw that stirs this place. In other words, we've missed having you around.
Great stuff, as always.
8 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Sirs Berlin and Dj, thank you. it feels hella good to have the scribblin goin on again, i was worried for a week or two, no doubt about that. now i got all sortsa crap fallin out the fingers. funny how these things work out.
9 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
and also, i must thank whoever spotlighted this wee tale. that was highly lovely and all sortsa gorgeous to wake up to.
10 - DJRadiohead
Fits and starts- I have the same thing. Weeks go by and I can't write shite and then I'll pen 4 things and do a podcast in the span of two days.
11 - steven
enjoyed the read. a way of words you have sir, What happens next? will enjoy hearin further mind waxes from you xxooxx
12 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
thank you, Steven. this particular tale ends here. a lovely friendship blossoms. our friends wander off t'wards ever more extravagant colours and shapes. and foo fighters records.
a new mind wax is in the writing, and should surface in the shortly-times, i would hope.
thanks again.
13 - Carole
this Carole chick sounds amazing with the purple whispers and all. What a lovely mind wax dear duke!