Please make sure you panic

Sloppy shaved jar dudes.


In recent days, New York officials have offered a wide array of confusing advice: Watch out for men who have nicks on their faces, perhaps the sign of an Islamic terrorist who has shaved his beard to blend in. Beware of anyone carrying jars of mayonnaise into the subway — they may actually be holding chemical or biological agents. And in the city of a million briefcases, watch out for the unattended ones — they could be filled with explosives.


I don't know this could just disappear, but did anybody in the States get warned about nicked-faced mayonaisse jar terrorists? I'm just wondering. Really. Woh! Mayonaisse terror! Panic, that egg salad sandwich could be terror! (hate the french)

I really wish I was making this up, but this was in the Globe and Mail, Toronto's National newspaper.

So who wants into the pool about the first guy to get the crap beaten out of him for carrying a jar of mayonaisse on the New York subway, or that Jared guy, just because.

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