Teaching high school students, I know all about peer pressure and bandwagon mob-type thinking. I know its insidious nature. I constantly harangue about the evils and perils of it, so you can see why I’m somewhat perplexed and just a tad bit bemused that I succumbed to this mob fear mentality and the dire predictions from all the talking heads on the news.
Yep, I caught that swine flu fever. No, not the temperature-induced-body-aching-flu-type, but the oh-my-God-we’re-all-gonna-catch-it-and-die-type.
Somehow my trusty mini-van veered into the neighborhood drug store parking lot. After spending 10 minutes searching the aisles and nonchalantly tossing in random items into my basket — hydrogen peroxide, make up remover wipes, and spearmint chewing gum — I finally masked my embarrassment and mustered up enough courage to ask one of the clerks, “Hey, just where are you keeping those surgical masks?”
I also tossed in a couple of bottles of hand sanitizer in my cart for good measure. About twenty or so bucks later, I became the proud owner of eight masks, eight disinfectant wipes, and eight handy dandy latex free gloves, two bottles of hand sanitizer, and of course, the hydrogen peroxide, make up remover wipes, and spearmint chewing gum.
I called my friend Jennifer in Annapolis and confessed my panic purchase. She just laughed at me (which, of course, came as no surprise because she does that quite a bit). Once she quit laughing, she wanted to know exactly where I planned to wear them.
“Gee, I don’t know,” I said. “Maybe when the Pandemic gets here.”
“Ahem,” she muttered.
“Or, you know, maybe for Halloween like for a doctor costume,” I offered.
"You don’t go to Halloween parties,” she reminded me.
“Well,” I said, “maybe when I mow the lawn.”
“You don’t mow the lawn,” she countered.
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