Honor every feeling, as there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Sometimes when a famous person dies, like Paul Newman, it taps into our own feelings of loss and sadness as a reminder of those who are no longer present in our personal lives. It also can be a reminder of our own mortality.
Newman himself was no stranger to grief. He lost his 29-year-old son to a drug and alcohol overdose in 1978. No grief is as deep or as long-lasting as that of a parent who has had a child die. It doesn’t matter whether the child was an adult or very young. According to the “laws of the universe,” parents are to precede their offspring in death. That’s simply the way it's supposed to be.
Yet Newman found a way to turn tragedy into victory. He and his wife, Joanne Woodward, established a Los Angeles drug rehab facility in his son’s name. They also were instrumental in the creation of the Hole In The Wall Gang Camps for terminally ill children. Thus the Newmans honored their son, celebrating his life by giving others a second chance at theirs.
At our house today we are spending the afternoon with Fast Eddie Felson, Chance Wayne, Hud Bannon, Luke Jackson, and Butch Cassidy. A Virgin Lemonade toast to you, Mr. Newman, for all that you were and the millions of lives you touched. A second toast to all of my own loved ones who have passed away. None of you will be forgotten and all of you are missed. To Life!
Article comments
1 - Joanne Huspek
Great tribute, and good ideas in dealing with grief.
2 - Joey and Maggie
Good Lord, this planet is so much sadder without Paul Newman. Thanks for this post.
3 - Ron Chavis
Dear Dr. Julianne,
Thanks for your truly wonderful, insightful commentary on loss. You said what I've never been able to put into words.
Ron