One of the biggest causes of discrimination towards the disabled is ignorance. People are ignorant about the ways of the disabled. We are not all the same and cannot be lumped into one category. That does not mean we should be treated as though we are sub-human, because in essence we are normal in all the ways that count.
For instance, my best friend from high school had Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. He also had an unrelated learning disability and was in special education classes. I, on the other hand, have always been in honor classes. However, outside of school, we were two kids who raced around town causing havoc and getting into trouble like any other set of kids might do.
The one thing the disabled share in common is the desire to be understood. Do not look at the wheelchair as a significant part of our personality. It is not. It is merely a necessary extension of our physical being. Consider, if you will, the wheelchair as our legs in a different shape than your legs.
However, you cannot deny or ignore the disability completely. I think those who try to ignore it the most actually are the most misguided. You can acknowledge the chair. Hell, ask questions if you like, but do not make it the primary focus of every discussion.
It is natural for people to be curious. So, I have a major problem when a child comes up to ask a question or points out my wheelchair and their parent stifles their questioning, while shooting an embarrassed look in my direction. It is good they are curious. Intelligence breeds tolerance, and when a parent stifles their child they are making them ignorant or fearful of people in wheelchairs.
Steps towards Tolerance: I have decided to come up with a list of steps you can implement when meeting and socializing with people that are disabled or impaired. I truly believe your best tool for not acting like a wheelchair discriminator is knowledge. Hopefully, these steps will give you all the tools you need to help spread the tolerance those of us in wheelchairs so desperately seek.
Step #1 - It is okay to ask questions as long as it is done so respectfully. Do not act as if it is such a big deal because we will laugh at you. There is nothing funnier than someone who wants to ask, but cannot stand up for themselves enough to get up the courage to do so. There really are stupid questions though, and most disabled people do not appreciate them.
Article comments
1 - Pekky Marquez
I am about to do an Internship in a Protection and Advocacy agency, and I want to thank you for this, for I find it trully inspiring and a guideline for me as well as for explaining others about the self-determination and "normal" (what is normal and who determines it anyway?) life of people with disabilities.
I have been interested a lot on what people have to say about self-determination, which is why I thank you for your article. Trully human. :)
Peace!
Pekky
2 - Snarkattack
Bloody inspiring, your article - thank you for sharing. I would do well to remember your situation next time I start complaining about my own (less severe) affliction. It sounds like you have achieved loads more than some of your healthier peers.
I'm with you on the education of others - that is one of the reasons that I'm open about my sickness. It's a bit different in that it's psychological but on occasion people do ask me some stupid things, or I might have to explain why going out in public isn't an option at certain times. Thank goodness for understanding friends and family.
3 - diana hartman
I am pleased to tell you this article is being featured in the Culture Focus today, August 15.
Diana Hartman
Culture Editor
4 - Dominick Evans
Thank you all for your kind words and for featuring this article. I feel it is incredibly important to helping to combat discrimination and facilitating understanding and discussion.
I am working on the second installment of this series so expect it to be available soon!