Ten days before my 16th birthday I was wheeled into the operating room to begin the first of 16 hours worth of surgery. I had spinal fusion surgery done to prevent my organs from crushing one another. Had I not had the surgery I only had about 10 years left to live. The surgery was harsh. I faced many complications and almost died. When I came out of all of it, I could no longer stand up on my own or walk.
My recovery did not stop me from wishing to attain my goals as a performer. Despite my vocal cord getting nicked by the tube down my throat during my hospital stay, I managed to re-train my damaged voice again and by the time I entered college, I sounded better then ever could be expected.
College meant that I would perform in a few different theatrical shows, train with an amazing voice teacher, and star in an independent film. I also made a lot of friends. These were the first group of people who looked at me for my abilities, not the chair I sat in every day.
This was around the time I started dating my long-time girlfriend, Ashtyn. She opened my eyes to a whole new world of love and hope, because she really did not care about my bum muscles. She helped to restore all the self-confidence I had lost during my high school years. Today, we have been together five years; have one child, and a happy, well-adjusted home.
So, why am I telling you about my life? I really want to stress how normal my life is to you. I want you to see I have accomplished things despite being in a wheelchair. I want you to understand that I have tried not to let the chair dictate my life. In fact, the chair is perhaps one of the secondary aspects of who I am. I am not ashamed to be in a wheelchair and must admit I have a bit of a hot racing hand.
Why am I telling you this? My purpose in telling you about myself is to let you see that many of us who suffer from debilitating physical conditions are just like you in the everyday sort of ways. I fell in love, as many of you have in the past. In my free time, I love to watch television, movies, play video games, play and watch sports, and spend time with my family. Those are things I have heard plenty of able-bodied individuals say they do in their free time, as well.
Article comments
1 - Pekky Marquez
I am about to do an Internship in a Protection and Advocacy agency, and I want to thank you for this, for I find it trully inspiring and a guideline for me as well as for explaining others about the self-determination and "normal" (what is normal and who determines it anyway?) life of people with disabilities.
I have been interested a lot on what people have to say about self-determination, which is why I thank you for your article. Trully human. :)
Peace!
Pekky
2 - Snarkattack
Bloody inspiring, your article - thank you for sharing. I would do well to remember your situation next time I start complaining about my own (less severe) affliction. It sounds like you have achieved loads more than some of your healthier peers.
I'm with you on the education of others - that is one of the reasons that I'm open about my sickness. It's a bit different in that it's psychological but on occasion people do ask me some stupid things, or I might have to explain why going out in public isn't an option at certain times. Thank goodness for understanding friends and family.
3 - diana hartman
I am pleased to tell you this article is being featured in the Culture Focus today, August 15.
Diana Hartman
Culture Editor
4 - Dominick Evans
Thank you all for your kind words and for featuring this article. I feel it is incredibly important to helping to combat discrimination and facilitating understanding and discussion.
I am working on the second installment of this series so expect it to be available soon!