Warning: If you're after some hard-hitting, life-changing, mind-altering insight, wisdom, and enlightenment from yours truly today... then check out one of your other favourite writers.
Seriously.
This is certainly no personal development piece; social commentary perhaps. A little tongue-in-cheek satire maybe. Or just an excuse for me to comment on something I find entertaining, amusing, incredible, sad, and silly.
So little Paris has just headed off (today) to the slammer for her twenty-three day sabbatical. Busting up rocks for a few weeks with her new gal pals. Making number plates. Developing new skills. A craft class or two perhaps. Learning to love jumpsuits.
If there's ever a time when she doesn't want to be gorgeous, it's the next three weeks. Poor baby. How dare that nasty judge make her be responsible for her actions? She didn't mean it; it was all a silly misunderstanding.
Besides, probation and loss of license are such ambiguous terms anyway. "Oh, you meant no driving... at all?"
What was he thinking, that silly old judge? Did he not know who she is? Did he not know the Paris rules? Did he not get how obscenely rich and influential she is? Not to mention, stunningly thin? Surely someone that attractive couldn't be a criminal?
"Can't we just make this go away, Mr Judgeywudgey? What if I cry a bit?"
Apparently not. Clearly he missed the Paris memo. Maybe she didn't pout enough in court.
Of course there are rules for us normal folk (you and me). And then, there are the rules for the spoiled, self-centered, obnoxious, pretentious, precocious, immature, irresponsible, stupidly-wealthy, surgically-enhanced, dysfunctional "famous" people that all our kids (seemingly) aspire to be. (Heavy sigh).
I wonder how our famous-for-nothing-in-particular star will cope wearing her new orange outfit? Hopefully it's fitted and not too baggy. (Imagine — uggh!) She never wears orange. So doesn't go with blond hair. So totally-not-her-colour.
Article comments
1 - Matthew T. Sussman
Um. What?
2 - Redhead
Maybe she'll find a new "girlfriend" out of this whole mess!
3 - wayoutleft
you're right. it's not fair. the whole egalitarian justice for all- equal laws construct doesn't work for paris. paris needs to make psa's against DUI- not sit in jail.
the book will hit #1 in the fall. paris will win over everyone she meets because- and god i know how you hate to hear this- paris is natural. her money has exempted her from the oppression of conformity. the wild girls in their natural preserve from la brea to malibu are a national treasure.
4 - sr
We could be under a nucler attack and the drive by media would be more focused on Anna Nicole Smith and Paris the bitch Hilton. It's what stupid Americans care about. Paris and Anna please save us. Holy crap. If this country can survive another 20 years it will be a miracle.