Paris Hilton has been sentenced to 45 days in jail for her October arrest for driving without a license. The brilliant heiress claims that she did not understand that her license had been suspended following a DUI arrest one month earlier. Now her newly fired publicist is showing his allegiance to the all-powerful Hilton family by taking the bullet and claiming responsibility for the misunderstanding.
Despite being fired, publicist Elliot Mintz is corroborating Parisâ€™ claim that he told her it was okay to drive for work-related reasons. As we all know, Paris is quite the workaholic. No, wait — sheâ€™s the other kind of â€śholic.â€ť
Paris really played up the dumb and spoiled angle in her hearing and told the judge (who asked if she had read the paperwork about the suspended license) that, "I have people who do that for me. I just sign what people tell me to sign.â€ť The judge simply wasnâ€™t having any of this and ordered Hilton to turn herself in by June 5th. Maybe that wasnâ€™t the best time for Paris to whip out the â€śIâ€™m better than you and canâ€™t be bothered to read my own mailâ€ť card.
Paris Hilton is walking proof that evolution has stopped. In the good olâ€™ days, Hilton would have been a saber-toothed tiger appetizer the second she wandered from the herd to try to touch the big, burning circle in the sky. Mr. Darwin, on behalf of all semi-intelligent bipeds, we apologize.