Written by Joe Wilson
LOS ANGELES, Calif. (PoopyCaca.com) - Hotel heiress, reality show star and "independent film actress," Paris Hilton is "just really, really annoyed" that no media outlet contacted her for comment about Terri Schiavo or Pope John Paul II.
"It's like, I'm here, I have a phone and I'm sure it hasn't been hacked again, but they don't call me. Not hot at all," the celebrity explained using one of her two facial expressions. "That guy that yells on that show, the one Darrel Hammond does on SNL, he didn't call, or that Irish guy on Fox."
CNN spokesperson Oscar Cunningham said, "Ms. Hilton was not asked to be on CNN regarding the Schiavo story or the Pope because we don't believe she has any particular expertise or experience in either of these areas."
"I know about feeding tubes, I eat. And I've been to Rome and the Vatican, it's hot," Hilton told her pet Chihuahua, Tinkerbell, to tell the media.
Chris Matthews, the host of MSNBC's "Hardball with Chris Matthews," said, "If we need blonde opinion, we call that Coulter lady."
Paul Begala, one of the co-hosts of "Crossfire," a CNN "debate show" currently on life support, was excited at the prospect of Paris Hilton doing battle with Robert Novak. "Tucker Carlson left big shoes to fill and I think Paris Hilton could more than fill Tucker's shoes."
Hilton read from a statement she wrote herself, "I don't want to be known as the granddaughter of the Hiltons. I want to be known as someone who knows stuff about things."
When you need another fake news source, PoopyCaca.com is there. http://www.PoopyCaca.com
Article comments
1 - nubianem
PARIS HILTON'S COMMENTS IS MUCH LESS DIVISIVE, INSULTING, RACIST AND DIVISIVE THAN COMMENTS OF PEOPLE LIKE ANNE KKOULTAR, MONAJEWESS CHAREN, ROOS LIMBLOW, SHORN CONNITY, O'REALLY....AND ALL THESE FAKE 'PSEUDO-CONSERVATIVES," WHO WERE FORER SIXTIES LIBERALS....WHO INTRODUCED DECADENCE, DOPE SMOKING, 'FREE SEX' AND ALL THE FILTH THAT THEY ARE PRETENDING TO BE AGAINST BECAUSE IT IS NOW PROFITABLE TO MAKE MONEY BEING 'CONSERVATIVE."
Ironically, the most conservative people in America today...ULTRA-CONSERVATIVE, ULTRA NATIONALISTIC AND ULTRA TRADITIONALIST...ARE BLACK AFRICAN AMERICANS.
2 - gonzo marx
ok then..
y aknow it's bad when even i consider all this ... "far beyond silly"
nuff said?
Excelsior!
3 - HW Saxton
Pretty funny post PC.But taking shots at
the critical thinking abilities of Paris
is easier than blowing up a Dixie Cup
with a stick of dynamite.
Paris Hilton couldn't think her way out
of a soggy french fry bag. She is about
as deep as the average soapdish and as
bright as small appliance bulb.
I live and work out here in Las Vegas,NV
where stories about PH abound. That dog
of hers goes with her everywhere that PH
goes. She lets it do it's business where
ever it feels like and has maids come in
and out of room constantly to clean up
after it.And she is not ever going to be
accused of treating these women with any
degree of "kindness" or civility for the
lack of better terms.What a utterly vile
& disgusting excuse for a human being.
And that's not "Hot".
4 - HW Saxton
Pretty funny post PC.But taking shots at
the critical thinking abilities of Paris
is easier than blowing up a Dixie Cup
with a stick of dynamite.
Paris Hilton couldn't think her way out
of a soggy french fry bag. She is about
as deep as the average soapdish and as
bright as small appliance bulb.
I live and work out here in Las Vegas,NV
where stories about PH abound. That dog
of hers goes with her everywhere that PH
goes. She lets it do it's business where
ever it feels like and has maids come in
and out of room constantly to clean up
after it.And she is not ever going to be
accused of treating these women with any
degree of "kindness" or civility for the
lack of better terms.What a utterly vile
& disgusting excuse for a human being.
And that's not "Hot".
5 - RJ
Funny post! :)
6 - gonzo marx
bah,
RJ..ya shouldn't be looking at anything Paris Hilton...
she's too old for ya..i've seen yer pic
Dora the Explorer is about all you should be allowed until yer voice changes..
{8^P~~~~~~~~
Excelsior!
7 - RJ
So, it's a bad thing to look younger than you are?
8 - gonzo marx
only when yer 12
Excelsior!
9 - PoopyCaca
HW:
In the comedy game, being funny is the main thing, regardless of the level of difficulty in finding that funny in any particular subject or context.
Judging by your comment, I guess you couldn't help yourself tagging up on the topic:
"Paris Hilton couldn't think her way out
of a soggy french fry bag. She is about
as deep as the average soapdish and as
bright as small appliance bulb."
After the last couple of weeks of everybody and their mother weighing in on the last couple of weeks of news, I thought Paris was fair game and a subject we could all take a little comedic refuge in.
I write comedy to make people laugh.
Stay tuned for my post about how men and woman are different and airline food.
10 - gonzo marx
heh..
PC..i do believe HW"s leg came off in yer hand while ya were tugging on it..
now give it back, i hate ta see folks hopping around in circles...
Excelsior!
11 - HW Saxton
Like I said, pretty funny post PC. I've
taken a shot at sweet young Paris my own
self sometime back right here at BC. If
ya want to look for yourself(and I don't
blame if you should not want to)the post
is titled:"Just Another Saturday Night".
It's very similar to comedy only not as
funny.
Anyhoo,I'm looking very forward to your
mind bending revelations on that whole
difference between Boys & Girls.I've got
to admit that between the girlies thang
goes in and the boys thang goes out I am
frankly clueless about it.Please do feel
free to enlighten further.As for me I've
got to get back to working on my peace
treaty between Cats and Dogs. Just when
I think I'm making headway some stupid
dog goes & pulls yet another litter box
bombing,sending us back to the table for
more negotitiations and a game of fetch
or two.
12 - Tristan
Oh POO !
When someone thinks that Wal-Mart is a place that has stuff for WALLS ---
what further proof would any media mogul need to seek her as an expert on the Pope or Right to Death ...?
13 - HW Saxton
Oh Yeah,by the by Gonzo,obviously I knew
PC was pulling a funny.I was only making
a comment on the post because I wanted
to sneak in a coupla cheap shots at the
Queen Of Preen myself.I did get a laugh
out of it.Surrepititiously perhaps but a
laugh nonetheless.But she really is an
easy target though dontcha think?
14 - gonzo marx
yep, HW..way too easy fer the likes of me..
she may be "easy", but we know she ain't cheap
nuff said?
Excelsior!
15 - Temple Stark
Paris Hilton the only porn queen I know who ends up on magazines for teen girls as a"role model."
I've been meaning to post about that but ...
By the way according to Porn Star Name Generator "Albino Kitty" is the one for Paris.
To cover the BC editors by the way:
Eric O and I are both Jason Jizzy
Phillip Winn is Chris Cucumber
Eric Berlin is Michael J. Cox
Justene Adamec is also Albino Kitty
Bitch Has Word is Sandra Spunk
Lisa Iannucci is Mary Muffmuncher (sorry)
Scott Pepper is Jack in the Box
16 - HW Saxton
Aaaaargh!!!My porn name was Dick Cocks.
I'm glad I'm not of the Asian persuasion
it could've been worse. Hung Far Long or
something along those lines.
17 - Tristan
Dick Nixon before he dicks you ...........
nothing as good for GW that I've heard ......
18 - gorgeous
PAris i love u u rock!!!!!
19 - american_trueblue
PARIS IS A SLUT
20 - australian_Gay_sisy
oh please ,she is welcome here in australia! lol
21 - lol
u know girls dont like girls and boys dont like boys! so there
22 - Silas Kain
Paris Hilton is a reasonable argument for male homosexuality.
INFERIOR!
(sorry, gonzo)
23 - DrPat
My porn star name is HARD HEAD. I like that one...
24 - miriam
Very good post. Spot on!
25 - PoopyCaca
Tom Cruise makes her look like someone to get an educated opinion from. . .