Paris Hilton recently announced that, "I'm the closest thing to American royalty..." At first, I was annoyed. Then, I was sickened. Then, I decided that she was right.
Royalty has often been held to personify the zeitgeist of a time and place. An American peerage should likewise serve as an exemplar of our times. Certainly, they could not serve any overt political function, but rather they could serve to embody the strongest trends and actual (rather than professed or aspirational) values of our society, writ large and made flesh, so that we can be reminded of what sort of society we are creating.
In that case, Paris is perfect for elevation to the American peerage. Scion of dynastic family wealth she had no part of creating, sporting a name that functions as a brand, vain to the point of self-obsession, possessed of the moronic beauty of youth, superficially glamorous but morally and intellectually impoverished, famous mainly for public lewdness and exhibitionism, owning the mating habits of a Bonobo, and sporting a massive air of entitlement, Paris is eminently qualified to be a member of America's theoretical peerage. In fact, she is a strong candidate for America's Princess.
However, I don't think it is a title of any honor, as Paris evidently believes it to be.
Article comments
1 - Joanie
Clueless Princess is more like it.
2 - D.A.V.E.
Well ok, i take ur point, paris hilton is a cheap obnoxious good for nothing slut faced hoebag, but ses generally cool! You cant tell me that if you were THAT rich and you had whatever you wanted, whenever, you wouldnt play it up to the full advantage. Shes living her life to the full, which i think some ppl on here should!!
3 - Harris Pilton
We are not amused.
4 - Natalie Davis
Proof that royalty is a curse upon the world.
5 - diana hartman
give it time...her standards of beauty and what makes a person interesting will wear thin quickly...where most begin to hand in their reigns of beauty and youth for the intellect and experience they've been working for all along, paris will inevitably get older and watch helplessly as everything about her falls away...
i was both shocked and disgusted to learn she dismissed the education most people only dream of whilst i'm struggling to put two kids through college...she could have at least donated the money that would have gone to her education to a fund for those who can't afford higher education...
6 - Weequash
Paris Hilton is not now, and never will be a bonobo! Although given to numerous antic sexual forays and posturings, she possesses neither the liberating joie de vivre nor the playful imagination of the average bonobo, who far outclasses her as a higher ape. For more on bonobos, I suggest reading the benchmark text Bonobos, the Forgotten Ape by Frans de Waal. Fascinating read, and much more worthwhile than watching Paris Hilton strut her silly stuff.
7 - Jesse
Paris just thinks that because she overheard someone referring to her as a PAVEMENT PRINCESS
8 - K7
I think shes the best thing that America has going for them.
Await the story one day on the front page.
We shall see what happens, maybe she will be president one day.
9 - TheHammer
Good point. The write-up makes sense. I am not sure what kind of people envy her or actually even look at her as the epitome of royalty. It's a sad world when complete garbage of human society is held up as the standard that females want to emulate. (I'm not speaking of all)
10 - lily
hey hey hey how are ya