I am having one of those days where I am completely unable to think. I have done everything to avoid thinking and to avoid the phone. Avoiding the phone because there is nothing I can do to sound rational or reasonable on the phone, or in person, and thank god, I don’t have to see anyone today and I am a bit fearful that I am heading back in time to the days when I allowed my too introverted self to take over and find myself crouched, sitting by the window, chain smoking and writing depressing poetry. This shit happens and I can’t allow it. Life is too short and all the other platitudes and clichés that apply.
So, to avert self-disaster, I have determined to spend the day painting, fixing, rearranging, spackling and all the other grimy stuff that I hate to do but that needs doing because I’ve let the devil in me get away with doing too little for the house, too long. I am not painting as in art, or canvas, but painting the house – the interior with that milky latex stuff that I love. I have bought two cans of latex Parsley Green with a hint of Tiffany Green which is a beautiful pale green white, the color of white roses that have the small blush of green from the leaves. I want to make things new again, and I want to fix the environment I am in. Shit, if I can’t literally fix myself, maybe fixing my surroundings will help me see things in a new way.
Like me, the downstairs has been dingy for too long. It has been dingy and cream colored and ugly and stained and smoke-tinted from too many dinner parties and too many evenings of yes, having fun, but my God, all this cooking Italian food and boiling those delicious potatoes is hard on the walls. I find drips of condensed water, the steam rising, leaving its pathway from the ceiling down. Let’s face it – it’s high time, or it was two years ago, and I let it go. I can’t decide if this is normal, or if I am a terrible home maker and terrible person in general. Does everybody paint their house every year or two, or is this just me? I feel it should be painted at least every year, to keep it new and fresh and changing. Life is flux, not stable. it just changes all the time. The sense of permanence is artificial, and if life is change, then I want to change and move with it, not be left behind clinging to the farther shore.





Article comments
1 - Eric Olsen
Sadi, always love your writerly view of life. Quotidian tasks can be very therapeutic, as well as the felicity of actually getting something done. Great job, thanks!
2 - Claire Robinson
What a wonderful glimpse into a day which makes the old new again. The most satisfying feeling...May your Celtic spell work (which they always do) and your future be a starbust which leaves the past behind.
3 - Irene
Being "unable to think", you produce something absolutely original dragging it out directly from your subconsciousness. You just need to be OUT from time to time to enable it plot another painting. Moreover, while typing, you FREE UP your subconsciousness. You're telling routine, but interesting things and at the same time - in the next paragraph - just releasing the things that seem to be thoughts but actually, sometimes, they are not :-).
[Edited] I LIKE YOURS VERY MUCH (and your writing as well).
Warm regards,
Irene, fan of painting
[Personal contact info deleted]
4 - sade
different kind of painting ~
5 - Dave Nalle
We need photos to go with the text, don't you think?
Dave
6 - sade
not really; don't have a good camera to take, and so...