Fact #2: Good looking girls get dozens of winks and messages in any given day. You can have the most awesome profile and you can send her the most intriguing message, but she may never see it. How come? Simple; once again, women with good online profiles get lots of winks and messages every day. Give her a reason to open your message first! It has to stand out among all the others or it has a high chance of getting deleted and never read.
Spend just as much time crafting an intriguing subject line as you do in writing the rest of your message. Ask her a question or specifically reference some detail in her profile so that she will know you actually read it and are truly interested in more than just her looks.
Mistake #4: Sending her a vague, generic or otherwise lame message
You made the effort to become a paying member of a dating site and want to make the most of your membership, but then you came up with a standard boilerplate message and you quickly copied and pasted it to dozens of girls.
Go you! At least that's what you think. Okay, reality check.
Women like to feel special and important. They can smell a lame form message a mile away, and the delete button is always close at hand. Why not take a different approach? Actually read her entire profile (we know it's painful, but do it anyway), learn everything you can about her, and then send her an insightful, personal message.
Remember, you're messaging her and she needs to feel she is the only girl in the entire world that you are interested in. Keep your messages fairly short and concise. Compliment or make reference to some thing or things you found interesting in her profile. Conclude each message with a “clear call to action”. Always be friendly and polite, but tell her what you would like her to do next.
Don't leave her wondering. An example is “talk to you soon” or “drop me a line.”
Mistake #5: Taking too long to respond to her message
With all the buzz around the seduction and “pick up artist” community these days, many guys are afraid of scaring women away by appearing too eager or desperate. They get her message and then wait, and wait, and wonder when it's okay to answer her.
Article comments
1 - sehpferd
Dear Dan and Jennifer,
your advice is excellent - I love item 10 of your list - it should really be on top of the list, because it is the first thing you should know when you start dating.
Best wishes
Gebhard Roese
Budapest
2 - Single Asian Woman
I have to say that your articles are worth reading. At first, I thought I've read everything I need to know about dating, relationship etc. but after I've looked at your site, I've just realized how much more I need to know!
Keep up the great work and expect me to keep coming back to read your latest blog.
Kudos!
3 - Jaison Williams
I will say women are all about connecting with their minds. Just because you're looking for a quick fling, that doesn't mean she's going to respond.