By NEDRA PICKLER, Disassociated Press Writer, 21 minutes ago
President Bush will tour the hurricane devastated Gulf Coast region on Friday and has asked his father, former President George H.W. Bush, and former President Clinton to lead a private fund-raising campaign for victims.
White House press secretary Scott McClellan said Bush will fly to Mobile, Ala., then survey the Alabama and Mississippi coast by helicopter before visiting some sites on the ground in Mississippi. He then plans to go to New Orleans for an aerial tour.
"Tomorrow's visit is another way for the president to show the nation's support and compassion for the victims and our appreciation for those who are helping with the ongoing rescue and recovery efforts," McClellan said. "It is an opportunity for the president to get a firsthand, up close look at the response and recovery efforts and to hear from those on the ground."
As President Bush flopped about like a gasping carp looking for something called an “ad-geee-tive” to describe what he saw as he flew over New Orleans at 45,000 feet (basically some dark patches, light patches, and a whole lotta messed up patches) he enlisted the aid of two former Presidents. Fortunately both of the former Big Guys were familiar with adjectives and came to Bushy Jr.’s rescue…
One New Orleans resident, when told that the two former Presidents were going to be flying overhead tomorrow while sipping wine and discussing their golf scores, exclaimed:
“Thank God Almighty! We is SAVED! Whitey is flying over us, just a tiskin’ this and a’tiskin’ that! I is SURE that right after they does their fly over they’ll be air-droppin’ special government cows that can shit loaves of bread and have utters FULL of cash! Yes indeed, thank the Lord we have two ex-Presidents flying over our misery! We’s saved foh sho!”
When it was explained to the 54 year old resident that the Presidents weren’t going to actually TOUCH DOWN and help in any meaningful way the residents of the Gulf Coast, but rather would be going on to expensive “fund raisers” where even MORE White men would be standing about talking about the golf scores she simply smiled at this reporter and stated:
“No shit… So what’s new?”