Late this afternoon, from a distance, I saw the world's longest press conference announcing absolutely nothing. I was having dinner out with my family, and when I turned my head slightly to the right, I could see a TV in the bar. On said TV were the shoulders and face of a man with dark hair, and his mouth was moving in front of a microphone. I assumed he was giving a press conference.
The head and shoulders belonged to Mike Krzyzewski, Duke University men's basketball coach.
Or at least he was their coach yesterday. I could see that Krzyzewski was sitting in front of a Blue Devils backdrop, so I knew he was at the University for the press conference. But I was too far from the TV to read the text on the screen, so I couldn't tell whether or not he had taken the job he was offered to coach the Los Angeles Lakers for 8 million ri-fucking-diculous dollars a year.
But as the press conference dragged went on, I got the feeling that Krzyzewski was staying put, mostly because a) he wasn't crying like a wuss, and b) some guy sitting to his left, who I assumed was the Duke University president or athletic director because he definitely wasn't Jerry Buss of the Lakers, was smiling. They also didn't break away to another camera to show hordes of Dukies weepily group-hugging as they hurtled themselves in front of the nearest campus bus. But maybe that's just because the kids went home for the summer.
The first time I noticed the TV, the press conference had already started and was clearly past the "big announcement" state. It was still on when we left the restaurant 15 minutes later. During this time the smirking Krzyzewski [does the man actually have teeth?] and the smiling guy next to him took turns talking. They talked, and they talked, and they talked.
Article comments
1 - Banned Dude
"[Y]ou've wasted three minutes reading about nothing."
Uh, I read it in two minutes. I guess my ex girlfriend was right when she said I was quick... :-/