It's easy to make fun of sorority girls. I come from a long line of them myself, and as I grew up among them, I realized it was like shooting fish in a barrel. Collegiates love to pick at the stereotypes of sorority women — your typical boozehound sluts who jump around in naked pillow fights. At the same time, we rarely consider the positive things sororities represent, like friends for life, philanthropy, and AA meetings on Tuesday nights.
And while it's easy to mock, I admit that in the second semester of my freshman year, I did indeed join a sorority. Surprisingly, it's a decision I have never regretted. And within a year of my initiation, I rose to the position of chapter president (and by "rose" I mean "slept with the right people").
I am thankful for the opportunities I have had to meet sisters from across the continent. However, it's widely known the rift that exists between northern and southern Greek systems. Many southern Greek institutions abide by "old school" rules, and are taken much more seriously than we northerners take it. But after meeting several president from southern chapters, I have come to one conclusion:
Southern sorority girls are freaking insane.
Somewhere through the annals of time, southern sorority girls have lost their minds. The AquaNet may have pervaded their nasal cavities and rotted their brains, or the thick layers of makeup may have contained lead paint that seeped through their pores. At any rate, they are pure, 100% batshit.
Northern sorority girls during rush.
Some examples of these essential "differences" (and by "differences," I mean "ways that Southern girls are freaking crazy") include:
Intimate Relationships: Many Southern Greeks find it unfathomable that I as a sorority girl and more so, a president, would date a man who is not of equal Greek status.
Southern Sorority Girl: So what fraternity is your boyfriend in?
Me: He's not in a fraternity.
SSG: I don't understand.
Me: He just never joined a fraternity while he was in college.
SSG: So what fraternity is your boyfriend in?
Me: My boyfriend is not in a fraternity.
SSG: (Yelling like I am deaf or retarded) WHAT FRA-TERN-I-TEEEE IS YOUR BOOYYYFRIEND IN?
(continues until I walk away)
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - chris franklin
I hate to ask, but which sorority are you talking about?
Im a Southern boy - Sigma Chi, U.Va.
Then again, maybe you don't want to get in to specifics on "which sorority" and are instead focusing on the broader issue of north/south diffs :)
Interesting article.
2 - dietdoc
Chelsea writes: "I have no ill-will toward my sisters from the south. But it's clear they are raised with different notions of Greek life than us northerners."
Reply: I, as a former witness to the insanity at its zenith (circa. 1960-1970) at a (deep) southern state university, I have to admit, you are probably spot on. As one of those folks too poor to join any organization, working for tuition and being my own "legacy," I was often awe-struck at the antics of my more well-heeled fraternity and sorority brethren. While I am quite sure some of those folks survived the ordeals, I do sometimes wonder what would have become of me, had I "enjoyed" the excesses of southern Greek life and the ancillary activities that were closely associated with it.
But, then, I count each and every one of my lucky stars, take a deep breath and murmur a quiet prayer of thanks for the hidden blessings of poverty during college.
Cheers,
Ron
3 - Nancy
I got 'rushed' by my mother's & grandmother's sorority, & they were absolutely dumbfounded when I ignored them. Couldn't believe I didn't want to join. My findings were that sororities do minimal USEFUL 'work' for anybody, & are mainly concerned w/making connections, parties, & husband-hunting, and are mainly for the benefit of rich, pretty, not-too-bright, not-very-literate socialites to be babysat until they can graduate. Dietdoc, you didn't miss a thing.
4 - Chelsea Lou
I guess this falls under the same category as family - I can make fun of them, you can't. ;)
I have to say, Nancy, that you are pretty far off with your assumptions. As I mention in the piece, I myself am in a sorority, and I have NEVER regretted my decision. We have given THOUSANDS of dollars to charity, and my chapter currently averages 49 hours EACH MEMBER of community service work.
Our cumulative GPA is higher than the all-women's GPA on campus and almost half our chapter was on Dean's List this past spring semester. My highest GPAs have been accomplished since I joined a sorority because of the intense academic standards. Not-too-bright, not-too literate? Check the numbers.
As far as "husband hunting," I found my future husband working for the campus newspaper, and he is not in a fraternity. (Matthew T. Sussman, another BC-er, as most know.)
As much as I make fun of sorority life (I think it's only a problem when Greeks take themselves too seriously), it was, for me at least, a very rewarding experience. I have met friends that I will have the rest of my life, learned values that I continue to live by, and I have a support network that trust me, I've used several times. When I have a problem, I have 50 women that I know I can turn to.
Okay okay, I shouldn't be getting defensive. I'm just saying, as much as I make fun of sorority life, it actually is a very good thing for certain people. (Not everyone wants to be in a sorority, and they don't have to be. That's cool too!)
And Chris, I'd love to tell you my letters but in such a public forum, I'd rather not, since I AM making fun of people to a certain degree. But I will tell you I was a fourth-generation legacy to Chi Omega. ;)
5 - chris franklin
Hmmm...
I wonder if your answer was supopposed to help me decipher your Sorority affiliation?
6 - Chelsea Lou
Nope, no decifering necessary. But if you went to my blog you'd figure it out anyway.
7 - Nancy
I am interested to know why it's so much bigger a deal down south, as it were, than it is up north. How does that pan out as regards east-west?
8 - bhw
Chelsea Lou, with a moniker like that, how can you not be a southerner?
9 - Chelsea Lou
bwh -- My full first name is Chelsea-Louise. Spent most of my life going by Chelsea, until I came to college and it just somehow became my name. It's better than Flounder, I guess.
10 - Nancy
At least your parents had some imagination to come up w/'Chelsea'. Better than 'Nancy'-!
11 - bhw
My guess on the north-south thing is that in the south, the sororities are holding on to a bit of the southern belle/aristocracy thing.
Up north, bitches just want to party.
12 - Victor Plenty
Chelsea, you found the model for the Lindsay Lohan Herbie-poster wink! The young woman on the left in the first photo above has her face contorted into an uncanny resemblance of the very same thing the artists did to Miss Lohan's face for that frightening poster.
As for your article, kudos for having a sense of humor about your sorority membership. You seem to be walking a good healthy balance, not being too serious or defensive about it, but taking it seriously enough to give the experience some real meaning for you.
Oh, and a minor detail on your last paragraph. If I recall correctly, the division between north and south is called the Mason-Dixon Line.
13 - Mark Sahm
In reaction to comments #3 & 4, I would agree with both. On one hand, many of the girls at the college I attended were exactly as Nancy described them, to a perfect T.
But amongst the bar sluts that permeated their ranks existed other upstanding young ladies who volunteered and made a lot of important contributions around campus.
Oddly enough, the serious girls always were dragging the slackers from their hangover ridden beds to events and so on. Funny how a group works, eh?
14 - Chelsea Lou
Wow, where to start. Okay, going down the line:
Nancy: I guess my parents could be considered original, since there aren't many women my age named Chelsea. Or the fact of the matter could be that they just couldn't decide on a name and said, "What the hell, let's throw a hyphen in and make her explain her name the rest of her life!" (I'm guessing the latter.)
Victor: The Northern sorority girls are actually me and two of my closest friends in my sorority. The "love bug" poser is a very very close friend of mine, and poses like that in EVERY picture. (FYI, I'm in the middle, the horribly overexposed, goth looking one.)
And Mark: You could take a sample of 75 girls on any college campus, and you're bound to have some bar sluts and some "upstading young ladies." It's not just sororities. And as president, I'm the queen of pissing off hungover girls and forcing them to class and charity events. Nobody said being president meant you were the popularity queen. ;)
15 - Bryan McKay
You could take a sample of 75 girls on any college campus, and you're bound to have some bar sluts and some "upstading young ladies." It's not just sororities.
This is true, but it also depends on the college and the sorority. There are plenty of social sororities that seemingly exist solely for the purpose of getting drunk and being stupid. Other girls in college might be bar sluts too, but at least the ones outside of the sororities don't have to start an exclusive little club to do it. I think it's partially the exclusivity and snobbery that can be seen in a lot of sororities (and fraternities) that gives them a bad name.
16 - Mark Sahm
Chelsea, don't get me wrong. As an RA my senior year of college, when asked about sororities, I advised many freshman girls that the experience is all in what you put into it, but that it can be a very good thing.
I believe the environment of the group itself made both the bar sluts and the overachievers become more magnified in chosen paths though. Not joining wouldn't have given them the identity on campus as much.
As for fraternities, I told all of the freshman boys to avoid at all costs. :)
17 - bhw
There are plenty of social sororities that seemingly exist solely for the purpose of getting drunk and being stupid.
Not that there's anything wrong with that. 8-)
18 - dee
My daughter is in a sorority and she is neither a bar slut or an over achiever. She is just someone getting through college and enjoying the comaderie of the girls in her sorority. They are some wonderful young ladies too. Not bar sluts even though there are some around.
19 - Nancy
Well, things change over the years. Undoubtedly Greek culture at some sororities has changed, too, that's human nature. If they've gotten better, more public-service-oriented, that's terrific.
I based my statements on my grandmother's & mother's accounts, & my own personal knowledge of quite a few of the inhabitants of my university's sororities & their very flaunted activities & lifestyles. According to Grammy & Mom, back in my grandmother's day, sororities were mainly havens for wealthy, well-groomed socialites, so they wouldn't have to live in dorms & mix w/the hoi-polloi, & could keep their own liquor supplies. In my mother's day they were party houses, interested mostly in sponsoring husband-hunting, especially among the well-connected, up & coming members of the corresponding frats. In my day (and on my campus) they were mainly hotbeds of overprivileged daughters of wealthy conservatives, as well as continuations of the tradition of private party houses. Certainly the collective sorority rep was not complimentary, and the most important 'charitable' activity they were involved in was the annual Homecoming festival & parade, a 4-day orgy of drinking, juvenile pranks, & celebration of jockdom. If they did anything else constructive or altruistic, they were certainly able to keep it a deep secret, hence leading to the reputation, which they actually seemed rather proud of. Mind you, I admit this was one university campus, at one point in time. As gonzo says, your mileage (and experiences) may vary.
Gotta say, tho, that 'Legally Blonde' 1 & 2 certainly didn't do much to help the generic image of sororities as being full of image-driven, hedonistic, & somewhat shallow people, even tho they were cute movies & very enjoyable.
20 - Eric Olsen
I love sorority girls due to their many flaws and pretensions, although my experience is with the northern, and then Californian varieties
21 - Nancy
OK - in my day and previously, membership in a sorority was strictly limited to the well-to-do, because the fees & dues were pretty stiff. They were NOT exactly strongholds of democracy. Is this still the case? Anyone?
22 - bhw
When I was in a sorority many moons ago, it cost about $200/year, which was equivalent to costs associated with some other activities on camups, such as the skiing club. I'm sure the students in the photography club, in those days, spent at least $200/year on film and processing costs, too, nevermind the cost of an SLR camera. So sororities were no more cost restrictive than many other campus groups.
I was in the north, however, and not near any of the more 'genteel' southern sorority traditions.
My sorority was primarily a social outlet, in part because it was very small and very new on campus, as were all the sororities at my school. I can assure you we weren't husband hunting, although I did meet my husband in college, before I joined my sorority.
We met at the bar in his fraternity during a happy hour. He invited me back for the second half of the double-header that night. And the rest is history.
23 - Eric Olsen
my first wife was in a sorority but we met in class
24 - bhw
I had scoped out my husband in history class one semester and was finally introduced to him by a mutual friend at the bar. It was love at first beer.
25 - Eric Berlin
I was given some great advice before I went to college. One classic bit went something like:
Don't join a fraternity. Why would you want to pay to have friends?
I wound up joining the rugby team, which was often accused for its frat-ish qualities (mostly because of the wild parties).
Overall, I agree that the Southern traditions are tied into Southern culture, which still holds some major differences from the ways of the North.