Most people I know want to live. They all have different reasons - whatever it is, they have one. But I listen to them, and come up blank. None of their reasons light my fire.
Who gives a damn about careers or relationships or anything, if you don't even want to be alive. I know this issue underlies all my other issues and I will not be able to resolve any of them until I address this one.
I want to want to live. But it just ain't happening and I am frustrated. In what nook or cranny do I find my will to live?
Wants To Want To
You don’t sound suicidal to me. You don’t sound depressed either. I think you’re exploring various states of feeling. You sound like you are experimenting... and as an extra bonus, people may be shocked by what you have to say.
Don’t get me wrong; I am not insulting you at all. I think you just want to feel passionate about something, and this may be a way to access that elusive feeling. If you go way out on this limb and hang there for awhile, what might you learn? And what might the people around you learn, with this sort of provocation?
I think you’re seeking an epiphany. Perhaps there is some exotic piece of information you can glean this way. You just might, as I’ve seen a situation like this before.
My lifelong pal Ben has Aquarius and Scorpio, just like you. I watched him go down once... way down, in search of some insight he felt he needed. I was worried about him but respected his process - hoping he’d survive it, and that it'd be productive. He did, and it was. I hope the same for you.
If you want a clue from astrology as to what is missing, I’d think about feeding your Moon in Cancer in the sixth house. Whose mother are you? Who are you serving?
I say, circle the drain for as long as you want (need) to, then pick your ass up and get to work.
To ask a question, or read more astrology-based advice -> ElsaElsa - The Advice Blog
photo used with permission. Thanks, Jacob