Having been married myself, I am somewhat bewildered by the battle over gay marriage. I understand why the "anti" crowd wants to exclude gays. Like cliques in high school, the duller you are, the more you need to keep someone out in order add a little luster. It’s an age-old trick perpetrated by the mainstream on the marginalized, when the full mediocrity and boredom of being the mainstream finally registers.
What I have more difficulty understanding is the gay position. After all the hard times you’ve been through, all the confrontation and altercations, the struggle to be heard and to be received, the battle to maintain your authentic identity in the face of disapproval and rigid control - why do you want to get married, seeing as you already know what it’s like?
Take the civil rights, by all means, but skip the rituals and symbolism and the centuries of emotional baggage that come with it. You’re getting off easy, which is what deviating from the norm should be all about. When the “in crowd” is this dysfunctional, it’s imminently healthier and happier not to participate.
To borrow a phrase now popular in the waning days of Bush II, marriage is a failed policy. It fails to keep people together; it fails to nurture intimacy; it fails to curtail loneliness. Those so inclined will defend marriage to the end. They will say marriage isn’t the problem; it’s the people that make it work or make it fail. I say if it’s the people, then let’s give them the credit and leave the institution out of it.
I know what you’re thinking. You are going to change marriage; you’re going to make it fabulous! But marriage is strong magic, and not in a romantic way. It’s a contract with a very long past, the same past that rejected you all these years. What would be fabulous is to fully participate in society without signing up for its various idiotic institutions.