COLIN POWELL (kowtowing in his valet uniform): Yessir, massah, I be rollin' tape.
(Powell exits room; lights go down; giant TV monitor flickers to life)
MUSIC in background: Carmina Burana by Orff; music volume increases to huge crescendo as commercial progresses.
IMAGE: Collage of various men in business suits — seated facing camera, body lit, faces in shadows.
MAN #1: I served with John Kerry in the Skull and Bones Club at Yale. And he lied about his service. He's dishonest. He's a liar. He can't be trusted.
MAN#2: When Kerry was initiated into Skull and Bones, he ate a baby, sacrificed a virgin on an altar, and had sex with a goat that night. I saw it. I tried to stop him, but he wouldn't listen. He's a monster...
MAN#3: I witnessed Kerry sodomizing the entire membership of the Skull & Bones, which was a requirement of all new recruits. He did it... just like we all did...
MAN#4: ...But the thing is — we were ashamed and didn't like it. Kerry was proud — and seemed to enjoy it. I think he's gay — and he definitely swallowed.
MAN#5: ...and Kerry was wounded that night. He got a purple bruise for his efforts. Some call it bravery; I call it 'rough homo sex.'
MAN#6: One time, he suggested we have a secret, midnight soccer game using Geronimo’s skull as a ball; how sick is that?!
MAN#7: John Kerry is a devil worshiper. He's into the occult, and calls on an evil higher power to guide all his actions. Like all the members of Skull and Bones, he swore a lifetime allegiance to Satan himself.
MAN#8: It's obvious that he’s unfit to live, let alone be the Commander in Chief of this great nation.
Music crashes to a halt: Dissolve to text on black background:
"JOHN KERRY: An evil, dishonest, lying Satan worshiper."
-- FADE TO BLACK —
House lights come up.
CONSULTANT#1: Well, sir, what do you think? We're spending $160,000,000 and airing this on over 200 stations during the next few days. It's a video carpet-bombing, a propaganda 'daisy cutter.'
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