R U illiterate? Sure, our educational system sucks, but school is a mere half measure. The greatest threat to modern literacy is the 21st century itself. Technological advancement has exacerbated age-old dumbness, as the lowest common denominator writhes in glee.
Essentially, we learn all the English we need in elementary school. That's right, not even indolent dropouts like me have an excuse. We all have a responsibility to grow intellectually rather than let our minds shrivel up and die.
When the hell did Dickens or Hemingway ever write in pigdin English? As a conscientious literary mind, I gasped in horror upon cracking the “LOL” code. Freshly evolved gray matter reverts to ooze. Mark Twain wants to see us all in Hell. There are neither “Xs” nor “Os” in “hugs and kisses.” Both forms of human contact are too much to bear, yet not enough to get me there. How does an intellectual pig write, “go die somewhere.”
E-mailing forged barren frontiers. Reading a friend's e-mail can be like finding him with a corpse and shovel. Bewildered like a kitten in snowfall, dimmer wits use their keyboards like preschoolers drool on finger paint. To their credit, the little tikes are more likely to wash their hands after licking. Cruel imagery. Why do I nauseate myself?
I suppose some people thought the term “spell check” a chat room come-on. For decency's sake, this basic word processing function was made with their cerebral desolation in mind. It's also for stoned writers - so I've heard. Commas are a myth and periods are obsolete, as the only punctuation to be found are streams of exclamation points. Damn you, dullard scum! That's an exclamation point in its proper place and one is all it takes.
Although a star reporter as a college freshman, I kept failing English 101. Terms like “participle” and “gerund” are meaningless. I don't even know what a damned predicate is, nor do I care. Education is overrated and college English is no different than that of grade school. A fifth grade education is all we need to write a proper e-mail. Intellectual growth and rejecting popular sloth is the key.
Knowing how to write wins supporters and opens doors simply because most people lack that ability. During my practice as a student entrepreneur, a dolt I affectionately addressed as “Hooked on Phonics” was my biggest buyer of college essays. No deadline was impossible and no fee too low as I laid it down for nimrods who found it easier to pay than think. That's true sloth.
Article comments
1 - Matthew T. Sussman
I've never understood this belief. More people text message, and there are lots of misspellings, so therefore we're getting dumber.
In the days of Dickens and Hemingway, very few people were published writers. Today, everyone's a writer, an e-mailer, blogger, a texter, and a Twitterer. The vast majority of people aren't trying to win that Pulitzer when communicating to their friend where they are in the mall.
And have you ever gotten an e-mail from journalists? A good number of them don't even know what that shift key is for unless they're on the clock.
Also, during the days of Dickens, women weren't really, um, all that schooled. So if you submit that we're getting dumber, I reject and re-submit that we've actually gotten smarter, since we were never that adept with the written word in the first place.
2 - Brian aka Guppusmaximus
Ya know, when I was in High School, my Reading teacher always bugged me that the year after her class should have been spent in "Advanced Reading" where they focus on the works of Shakespeare & Edgar Allan Poe. First off, I went to a vocational school,so, I didn't even bother taking a third year of Reading class. Second, While Poe's work might have been interesting for me, trying to read Shakespeare is a goddamn waste of time! I don't care what anyone says,that babbling, f*cking idiot makes me wanna puke. Imho, it would be like learning Spanish for business purposes. Too many words - too little time. I could never understand why anyone would want to torture themselves with that useless tongue of the English language.
Granted, I may not like the "text" English I have seen but it's efficient and gets your point across. One day, this type of communication might be essential for effective business transactions( I hope not..)
So, if being a scholar of language is the benchmark for intelligence, do you know how to build a website utilizing XML? Why is that most "scholars" don't know how to fix a PC or replace a harddrive? Just,maybe, your benchmark for aptitude is too old & meaningless...
3 - MarkSaleski
i can put together a website, but can't fix a computer. i have no idea what that means.
4 - Brian aka Guppusmaximus
Have you ever tried?
5 - MarkSaleski
yep, i tried replacing a hard drive and it came up half of its supposed size. that was the last time i tried.
i hate pc's and windows. too many hassles. i just want a computer to work, like my tv. i don't give a hoot what's inside or how it works.
6 - Brian aka Guppusmaximus
i just want a computer to work, like my tv. i don't give a hoot what's inside or how it works.
I hear ya... I was just using it as an example to support my pov that literacy isn't necessarily the ultimate benchmark for intelligence. Or because people don't type like Shakespeare on their keyboard doesn't mean they are dumb.
7 - MarkSaleski
no, that's true. i don't feel exactly the same way you do about shakespeare. but i do have to say that i never enjoyed any of it. of course, i don't think i had a decent teacher for it either.
but man, i read this book once called (i think) Brush Up Your Shakespeare...and it was quite amazing how many common figures of speach we use that originated from him.
i also don't think that all knowledge is good, even if it seems like it might not apply to you at present.
8 - Brian aka Guppusmaximus
i also don't think that all knowledge is good, even if it seems like it might not apply to you at present.
Huh??
9 - MarkSaleski
oops. too much coffee.
ahem...
i also think that all knowledge is good, even if it seems like it might not apply to your current (or even near future) situation.
10 - Brian aka Guppusmaximus
Honestly, I can totally understand Mr.Harris' point of view & I can even sympathize but I feel like the internet & E-mail has given us "unintelligent" folk a chance to connect on many levels. Maybe even learn a thing or two! I don't feel like we are getting dumber because of technology, I just feel like it is a different path to brilliance.
I know, I shouldn't insult Shakespeare... I just can't stand that sh!t.
As for me, all I wanted to do was play my drums & listen to some MehTul. And, now at 34, my musical education is priceless.
11 - Brian aka Guppusmaximus
*Ahha*... I couldn't agree more but then you run into the issue of what knowledge will benefit you in your life and what knowledge is a waste of space in the gray matter.
12 - MarkSaleski
the reason i reference the future is that you just can't know. i'll use my experience as an example. i was great at math in high school, and ended up starting college off in mechanical engineering. bleah, i sucked at it....changed majors to computer science after taking a required programming course.
as luck would have it, the comp sci department was in the college of arts & sciences (this is umaine), so there were a lot of electives available (unlike engineering majors at the time, who took very few non-technical courses).
i ended up taking a pile of psychology and philosphy courses. friends gave me a lot of crap for it...the old "what the hell are you wasting your time with that stuff for?" thing.
well, there's no way i could have known that this writing thing was going to happen to me many years later...and i'm certain that all of the reading i had to do for those courses has been a big help to me.
ok, time for more coffee.
13 - Brian aka Guppusmaximus
Well, of course there's no way to know what things are bound to happen to us later on in life but there is no reason why you shouldn't pursue the things that interest you no matter what other people think.
I went to a vocational school with the hopes of taking part in the computer science training that was available back then(1988) and I ended up in Plant,Building & Grounds Maintenance because they combined electronics with that course and my position fell on the waiting list.Plus, I have slight nerve damage so I wasn't any good at Commercial Art. Thus, I graduated from HS and was supposed to go to college for Computer Science and they dropped the course...HA!! Maybe they had no idea how much of a role that computers would have in our lives. So, I stuck with (and am still sticking) with my dream of "making the ends meet" with music. Hell, I can dream can't I??
14 - MarkSaleski
Hell, I can dream can't I??
yep, that's one i do. every day.
15 - duane
Excellent rant. I feel your pain. But Sussman (#1) makes a valid point.
16 - Cindy D
Joe,
Your maintenance of yourself as an "intellectual" is holding you back, maybe. If "growth" is your objective.
You are hard on yourself (but with an air of superiority) and hard on others. We're taught to do that. I was anyway.
It sort of limits one's perspective about literacy in general. If literacy is merely the reproduction of the incantations of the dominant culture, then literacy is nothing grand. It's more like repeating fun facts at a cocktail party. It promotes a nice image; but it won't really help one learn anything besides the transmitted "wisdom". (yeah i like to do this period out side the quote thang)
Here is something I find extremely illuminating regarding literacy. That is, if you are interested. I will say this--if you aren't, don't even bother trying to read it. It would take a very interested person multiples tries to get half of what this speech is about.
17 - Cindy D
Joe,
Something else for you. The video there on the left, RICH.TXT"LANGUAGE IN MOTION: Using Proper English, is worthwhile, imo.
18 - STM
Must B Gr8 4 sum1
19 - Ruvy
I can't stand how teenagers have taken written English and turned it something someone dumber than a monkey can speak. But, it is not all their fault. Text messaging has certain requirements, and frankly technology - and teenagers adjustments to it - have turned a literate language into garbage.
f evr1 kn blg nrit bt wn tha rit, u knt reed it, wt us iz t?
20 - Christopher Rose
Ruvy, have you seen the hilarious "Grumpy Old Men" TV show?
21 - Ruvy
No, Chris, I haven't. I do seem to remember a movie by that name, though.
I have an 83 year father-in-law who likes to get on the computer and read and write. So, I know what a grumpy old man can be like - even from a third of a world away. But looking at some of the stuff written in the comment threads here at BC for example - you know which articles I'm talking about - you're stuck reading them all - make even an illiterate monkey look like a physics professor.
22 - Cindy D
txt is a language. If you don't understand it then perhaps you should explore what you have against multilinguals.
23 - Cindy D
you know, i mean, if you don't understand it as valid, not actually understand it.
24 - Joe Harris
Damn the multilingual scum! I attend heated demonstrations against those undesirables and plot hate crimes in my leisure.
Cindy, I can only assume you are joking yet I fail to see the humor. Get real.
25 - Cindy D
No Joe, I'm not joking. I left my question for you on Jonathan's thread.