One of the best ways to find out what men like and dislike about women is to hear it from men themselves. That's why I often frequent the site, AskMen. A section called "Dating & Sex" contains articles and advice about dealing with women - for men and by men. Getting the inside scoop on "man-talk" is extremely useful for a woman. I think of this as keeping current on what’s in on Men Street.
Recently, I came across an advice article on The Psychology of Needy Women. The man who wrote it talked about the different “attachment styles” that different women had. Translation: the varying degrees to which different women are needy.
I'd always known needy women appeared unattractive and weak to men, and have written a few times on how not to appear needy in a relationship. However, I’d never quite imagined the extent to which men were petrified of needy women. Let's just say that, after having read the article, I now understand that getting into a relationship with a needy woman is a man's worst nightmare.
Do you feel like there might be worse nightmares than that? So do I, but not most men, apparently. The article states, "knowing your woman’s attachment style can... help you determine whether or not she’s worth dating."
Worth dating? Apparently, this is what men evaluate when they first start dating a woman.
When a woman first starts dating a man, she analyzes him very simply: Is he attractive enough? Does he dress well? Is he employed? What are his hobbies and interests? Will he call again?
The men, apparently, analyze women on a much deeper level: What are her psychological issues? What is her relationship with her parents? What are her past relationship experiences? How needy is she?
And there you were, worrying about your hair!
Article comments
1 - JEANNIE
This is terrible advice. You are encouraging CoDependency.
2 - BigDan
Sounds like games to me. hideing the beast till you suck him far enough. But he covered that in the article too when he said the relationship will start out just fine with out signs and after a while, POW!
I guess he is familiar with your article.
3 - Rob
The best approach is to understand yourself and what you need in a relationship and express that early on. Guys have needs too but we dread the idea of being a mere resource to a woman. We want genuine love and affection and we will reciprocate in return. Just like how women dread the idea of being used for sex men don't want to hear from you every time you need something and only then. That is using someone and it's abusive. Call some other sucker for that bs! Which woman wants to hear from a guy every time he's horny and only then?!
4 - Tony
My ex gf was probably one of the neediest woman on the planet! I loved her very much. However I couldn't handle her insinuations that she isn't good enough for me and me not allowed to have any dealings with woman, even at work. I remember one christmas eve in her drunken state I had to reassure her that I loved her as she hit me. She was upset because a girl from work invited me out to a fellow staff members bd. I even invited her. But wouldn't go because she was convinced that everyone at my work hated her. Eventually she left me for another man that was just as possessive as she is. Probably the worst relationship I ever had!! And I still love her.
5 - stephen
come on like a guy is going to reject a woman because she is needy! you women always think we have the same options as you do like theres a whole pletera of women out there sure there is women but the one s that like men for you they are compared to men who like and want a woman its not even close all the men who write in these columns with there opinons are wusses who probebly havent had sex in years compared to women that are doingit right now while we are talking on this stupid site ! just go whack off like the rest of us single men that have lost our women and quit fanticizing that you will get a women based on what you think or how women say it " self confidence" that dosent work eaither us divorced men are in deep shit get over it women say we can them by thinking that we can! i dont get it i have heard this amillion times i just dont see it - the dating books say it works for all men regard less of looks or income really prove this one or we sould play had to get because women want a challange maybe that works in one out a million times from what i have seen there is know method that works better than others --face it they are way aheaed on this scoring game we are just thier little puppets -- tell me im worng! for every time we have the complete luck to posibly have sex with a women they have had five of that six percentile that they are looking for you know six foot all hair and a hundred grand a year --six percent of men while the rest of us feel crapie about ourselfes making the chances even less being single and ove4r fifty -seems like a no win situation -unless you are constantly trying to feel positive but who can do that! I personally have struck out big time and sure would like another chance but every time i end spending a ton of money sure i got laid but also lost my house -my boat-my truck and i live in my truck right now while all my exs are getting laid right this minute!what fools we men are! They dont give up noting for us while we are vying for their every move what a joke do you actully think a womans going to put out because we "think positive" there not stupid we are
6 - eddie
The thing about needy woman who are older say45+ is they have seen all the good and all the bad in men...that just don't qualify to them....so their standards get higher each time and the neediness just gets magnified...then they reach the married by 50 thing and it gets magnified again...I know a woman who is turning 49 soon...she has never been married but broke a few engagements off...she is fantastic except when she's needy.....and the older she gets the worse it gets
7 - DanielR
A woman that doesn't show any emotional needs can be seen as. Old and even unattractive
The line "and there you were, worrying about your hair" makes me think of how we man go from physically accepting the girl > to dating > to a deeper analysis. This is because beauty is pretty much what we see first before considering dating in my opinion. .
8 - drex
needy women are never satisfied.. when a man has given all he can, or is prepared to.. If it is still not enough, then one is left with something that can be very difficult to end..
9 - joe schmoe
as a gay man I find needy women really frustrating. The manipulation and self entitlement is oppressive. Can't I just do my job without this crap?
10 - looking for a good woman
I can't tell you the hell I went through with a needy woman, her crazy ex, half ass job and her even worse kids. She was more trouble than she was ever worth and tried to suck me dry. Honestly I believe all the bleach she used on her hair and chemicals for those fake nails has damaged her brain.
11 - Anon
Well I agree with Steve mostly. I make six figures and am six foot and handsome but women still aren't into me, are obsessed with themselves. You try to do nice things for them or get a girlfriend they'll say "you're needy." I haven't gotten laid except a few ONS in 5 years, but I guess now I just go out and practice game but they say "Oh but you're such a nice guy". Well it's like every time a woman says that to me I become less so. Eventually I'll learn to use you women just like you use men. Or move to a country without feminism where people still have sex.
P.S. I can't imagine this getting better when you get older. I'm 27 now. But men just biologically aren't attracted to women who are above 35 after the women can't procreate. Especially in this country where there are so many women that don't take care of themselves physically, thus giving the impression of extra age. I'd rather just move to another country like Thailand and get laid with young chicks.
12 - Mike G
I left a very needy and, quite frankly, disgusting person (my ex-wife) a few years ago. Needy people have a tendency to attempt to control a relationship and get out-of-control and appear childish. Then, when she eventually started dating and to this date (nearly 3yrs later) she thinks of me even though she is 'doing what she's doing' with another guy, she knows she made ENORMOUS mistakes and realizes that I was the 'one' and will never re-marry. She makes appempts to contact me or create a situation where I must respond....HA!!! What a loser... Since my marriage ended I've been with more than a few dozen women (I'm not a 'player', I'm looking for that person). Unfortunately, she'll never find that person. And after what she put me through, I actually find some satisfaction in her pain. It may sound terrible, but it's the truth. Her longtime ex-boyfriend she had before I dated her felt the same way. Some of these people are just not meant to have it all... sad for them. It may seem malicious, but when you made someone's life hell and wasted a few years of my life, that's whatcha deserve! : )
13 - Sal
That article is a load of crap. I actually like 'clingy' women because they at least appear that they are really into me. Would I rather have the reverse problem where I get blown off left and right and think that she's not into me? If she does that, I just assume she's meeting up for the free food and entertainment for the evening, or was bored and didn't want to stay home alone. I think that is much worse. Is there really an underlying problem with a needy woman?
14 - once married twice shy
I dont mind being there and doing things for my girl. i dont mind even helping her out when she needs it. But if its going to be an everyday problem and she doesnt try to help herself, then shes not for me.
15 - Dude
Awful article.