So how has my perspective changed since starting NaNoWriMo? For one thing, I feel much less judgmental toward my own thoughts. When I find myself with those silly/serious thoughts I'm much more likely to let them "be" - to recognize them and give them psychological space instead of shoving them into the attic of my brain.
I've noticed a similar mellowing in observing my actions. A whole month of wearing the Jane Goodall hat in observing yourself is bound to affect how you see yourself. I've seen myself take much more of a "well that was interesting" approach to judging my own actions. I think it's no coincidence that I've also started seeing connections between cause and effect, action and reaction, in my daily life where I didn't before. Those tiny little flashes of self-awareness can add up to significant improvements.
Maybe the biggest shift caused by my writing experience has been that I feel excited about the future. I don't feel stuck in a rut anymore. I never would have expected that writing 50,000 words that I don't intend for anyone else to ever see could have that effect, but it happened. I can't totally explain the how's or why's of my new energy but I think it comes from doing something so crazy and outrageous and yet also so SAFE.
I knew that no one would ever read this novel (or even want to), so I allowed myself to be stupid. And clumsy. And juvenile. And talent-less. The only thing that I DIDN'T allow myself to do was to stop typing before 50,000 words.
With such a simple tactile goal, I could focus on the process, not the outcome and that has made all the difference. Because the fun is in the process. Yes, I felt a bit of a rush when I hit 50,000 words, but that rush wouldn't have been worth all the effort I put in over the course of a month.
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