I caught a glimpse of J. last night after the meeting. She has bruises all down her neck and chest, and enormous black discolorations on her leg where D. stomped on her.
Since then. This may sound self-involved--this wasn't about me, I understand, believe you me--but I am horribly, horribly ashamed of myself. I heard the fight in progress and did nothing. This, as R. pointed out repeatedly in our association meeting last night (in a completely different context), is our community. We are responsible for it, and we need to take care of it. And in some sense, that means taking care of each other.
J. is going to be okay, thank God. With any luck we'll never see D. again. We also have a cop who lives in the building which should be some help. But do we also have people like me, who mind their own business?
I am a hypocrite. I don't know how many times I've called people out for not seeming to give a damn about others, and without a second thought I have joined the club. I've become one of those people who just doesn't want to get involved, who doesn't even bother to check and make sure everything's all right when a loud scuffle is happening in his own home.
I have a terrible impulse to knock on J's door and apologize. "I heard you two and I stayed away. I'm sorry." But I don't want to intrude on her privacy (R. made it clear that she doesn't want to talk about it and hopes as few people as possible know anything), and I genuinely fear inadvertently making her trauma about me.
Which I also fear doing here, so I'll close. I resolve to take care of my neighbors, to take action, to do the right thing next time. I hope I'll have the courage and the compassion to keep that resolve.
Article comments
1 - mschannon
Very powerful and courageous article. It took a lot of guts to write this; I hope others take note and learn from it.
2 - Michael J. West
Thank you.
3 - Dawn
Who hasn't struggled with the "do I get involved" or "mind my own business?" I am sure if you knew someone was getting beaten up, you would have acted. People typically do not like others meddling in their affairs, even the loud public ones.
Thanks for sharing.
4 - Baronius
You didn't ignore a beating, you ignored some sounds that you weren't sure about. But it sounds like your conscience is bothering you. So do yourself a favor: make this about you. Make an honest appraisal of your motives and desicion-making process (based on what you knew at the time), and if you don't like what you see, change it.
5 - Clavos
Been there, done that, MJW; but unlike you, I never had the guts to admit it. My hat's off to you.
I hope I have what it takes to learn something from your article.
6 - Michael J. West
Me, too, Clavos.
Thank you all for your kind words and your advice.
7 - Michael J. West
By the way, J. moved to New Jersey this weekend. R. was actually out helping direct the movers, and J. was inside and packing. I saw her outside later and she looked much better--not just physically better, but she had relief all over her face.
8 - Rodney Welch
Personally, I think it would have made a better story if it ended with you rushing down the stairs, pulling out a sawed-off double-barrel shotgun, and saying "Here ya go, D, choke on this, you worthless misogynistic fuck."
9 - Lady Dragonfyre
Rodney - two thumbs up! :-D
10 - zingzing
i think you shoulda run screaming down the hall with a baseball bat, naked except for a cowboy hat and a belt buckle, beat the fuck twice in the knees, once in the mouth, stuck your dick in his grill and choked him on it while you deposited a cleveland steamer on his chest and shoved his broken teeth into his crying eyes.
oh. my. grammar got a bit muddled there. sorry bout that.
11 - larry
im not sure what i would have done.in some situations you might get your buttt kicked by both of them! i guess just showing yourself may stop the fight.as a security guard i was told to observe from a distancedistance and dial 911. i hope i never have toend up in such a situation