Here’s a valuable tip for those of you thinking about volunteering with your church’s middle-school youth program: have very low expectations. Taking a few mental steps down the staircase of Acceptable Standards for Organizational Behavior proved to be very helpful for an executive manager such as myself in more effectively leading a gangly group of 13-year olds at my church.
I found out very early on that the weekly youth meetings of our Middle School “ministry” (please note that I use that term very loosely here) are nothing at all like the corporate management meetings I am used to presiding over. When running a meeting at work, for instance, one can expect those in attendance will listen to you. Also, you can be pretty sure that most of the time the group will show some measure of respect, decency, and collaboration.
In the end you can hope for at least a small attempt at productivity, even in the most dysfunctional of teams. However, with middle school kids, you are pretty much outnumbered, ignored, and out of control 99 percent of the time. Plus, they can be really gross. Well, the boys, anyways.
As this topic of conversation comes up from time to time with friends and colleagues, many respond with a snort of laughter. This is then typically followed with a question that asks, in one form or another, “What on earth could have possibly possessed you to dedicate your precious time and astute executive mental acuity on middle school kids? Blech.”
Good question. You may very well share the opinion of my enthusiastic friend from Starbucks, Reece, who, upon hearing of my philanthropic endeavor with those surly church tweens said to me with a palpable disgust, “No one could ever pay me enough to work with middle school kids!” She put a defining emphasis on the words “ever,” “pay,” and “enough.” Sparks of spittle erupted from her mouth like fireworks as she spoke, especially on the word “pay.” She really meant it.
Later that week, while enjoying the fellowship and sophisticated conversation of civil-minded adults at a church potluck function, I found myself cornered by the father of five boys. He had heard about my unfortunate falling-in with the middle school program. “Well, now Brad,” he said with a serpent’s grin, in between bites of celery in ranch dip, “Aren’t you lucky to get stuck leading the middle school program!”
This is a form of encouragement, right?
“My heart goes out to you. Boys at that age can be…” He was searching for a word - one to replace the word that he intended to say, a word he might have regretted using in mixed company at a church function. Instead, he delivered the following statement to me: “Eighth-grade boys are the lowest form of life on earth.”
Article comments
1 - diana hartman
this is sweet, funny and touching...i'm so sharing it with every teacher i know whether they deal with middle schoolers or not...
2 - Christopher Rose
I was actually appalled by the degree to which this religious cult was allowed access to a school. Are all these groups, regardless of which strand of monotheism they endorse, allowed into US schools?
3 - diana hartman
christopher, i think bradley is talking about a church group made up of middle-school aged children, not a group conducted on the grounds of a middle school...
4 - Mary K. Williams
Bradley, you pretty much nailed it. I've been working w/our church youth group for the last six or so years. There are nights when we feel disappointed in the kids, but over all we're very, very proud of them. And the kids really enjoy being there - we've got jocks, cheerleaders, dancers, and a few misfits as well, but they all keep showing up, and getting involved. And when my own eighth-grader could not attend this years annual retreat because of his illness - they prepared a HUGE birthday/get well card for him (it also coincided with his 14th bday). And this was all on their own, w/o a leader suggesting anything.
Good writing Bradley.
And PS - Jesus did show up at that lunch table, don't you think? : )
5 - Christopher Rose
Oh, okay, glad to know that, thanks.
6 - Bradly J Moore
Glad you liked it! Yes, this is through our church, not in public school.
Mary - yes, sounds like you can relate.
The few.. the proud... the middle-school youth leaders.
7 - Mary K. Williams
In a way, we might have it easier here at our church, because our group extends to 12th grade. So often, the older kids are setting good examples. If there's a God in Heaven. Hey, actually ...
: )
8 - Ish Engle
I used to think middle school boys were disgusting... until I got a youth group made up of middle school girls! The things they can stomach make the boys look like wimps! :-D
Gotta love middle schoolers! So much fun. Thanks for the article.
9 - ToddD
Interesting article. good dpoint
TODDDiroberto