It seems to me that many of us don't really know who we are. We have our very own personal identity crisis. We spend our very busy lives doing stuff, achieving stuff — but still not really knowing who we are.
What's you're identity? Who are you really?
If we take away all your stuff... then... who are you? Yeah, we know what you do for a job, we know what you look like, we know what you drive, where you live and what you've done... but who are you beyond all that?
Are you the sum of your achievements and possessions... or are you something much greater?
What are you known for?
What will you be remembered for?
Have you thought about it?
Do you care?
How do others see you?
When people (who perhaps don't know you intimately) refer to you, what's your label?
"Oh, you know Todd; he's the surfie guy with the Brad Pitt body and the killer blue eyes."
"Sure you know Sarah; fifty-ish, heaps of money, owns that kid's clothing label, drives a Porsche... blonde hair"
"Simon? Oh yeah, he's that arrogant, how-good-am-I bodybuilder with the gigantic arms, tiny head, bad skin, horrible breath, and no self-esteem."
And what about your family and friends; what kind of identity do you have with them?
"Yeah, dad's kinda... well, I guess he does love us... I think; he's pretty moody though... but it's probably because he's tired, being the workaholic that he is... and anyway... as he always says, he's doing it all for us kids... funny, doesn't feel like it sometimes"
For some people, their identity is their body (a body builder maybe, a model perhaps), or part thereof (the flat-chested girl who "buys" herself some gigantic breasts). I see this (my-body-is-who-I-am syndrome) a lot in my work, and as ironic as it may seem, I actually spend most of my time helping people develop anything but their body.
When our total identity (who we are) is something external (to our mind, our spirit, our nature - the essence of who we really are), then we set ourselves up for pain, disappointment, and anxiety. As long as our identity is rooted in something which can be taken from us (looks, jobs, money, toys), we'll always be insecure.
For some people their identity is their career. "Did I mention that I'm a CEO now?"
Article comments
1 - klondikekitty
Oh, Craig!! How I do love your stuff!! You make me laugh, or cry, or think every time you post an article!!
Thanks so much for this, your latest post, on who we actually are!! God help me if the only thing people will say after I am gone is that I was a good journalist or newspaper reporter!! The entire reason that I am one is because I want my personality and what I really care about in this world to shine through my stories, so people who read them will understand me a little better, and, whether they agree or disagree with my viewpoint, will come away thinking that at least I had the courage to say how I feel or what I think!!
Keep up the good work!! Your posts continue to be one of the guaranteed joys in my life!!
2 - neonmagek
It is hard to say who we are because who we are is always changing. When we base it on something external, we can loose it (whether it is a job, house, great body .etc). However, if it is internal, we can loose that too. What are values, tendencies and way of thinking is, changes as we interact with the world around us. Perhaps that is why Mark Twain stated "It is not in the least likely that any life has ever been lived which was not a failure in the secret judgment of the person who lived it."
The best we can do imo is to be honest with our selves. If we do that, we can come to terms with the ever changing "self", that we are.
3 - Nancy
How do I know who I am? I still don't know what I wanna be when I grow up - & I'm almost old enough to retire!