When this altruistic desire was unearthed the Faustian LDS apologised for such wanton generosity. This LDS would prefer that the offer of eternal bliss be offered to all except some of those of a certain faith, not because they are not able to access salvation, not because of a heavenly revelation, but because they received illogical representations from a number of pressure groups, and to avoid critical comment are willing to effectively deny such persons the opportunity to respond to the LDS gospel's call. In truth, the apology called for by this story is for the LDS to apologise for the Faustian LDS' earlier apology.
For the avoidance of any doubt, I hereby append this message to this article for the benefit of any succeeding generations who may be members of the LDS and are concerned for my soul's well-being (thank you by the way) but you should note that I am (was) a Christian and believe I have received all the baptisms I need in my life or death and therefore deny that your post-mortem ritual has any salvific efficacy whatsoever. Nonetheless, if you want to conduct a post-mortem ritual on my behalf who am I to tell you how to waste your time? Please don't be offended if my sincerely held religious beliefs suggest your equally sincerely held religious beliefs are nonsense but, if you must, I guess that's the price for religious freedom.
PS: Did anyone remember to feed the cat after I died? If not I have a favour to ask but, be warned, it might not be pleasant …