More News You Can Abuse: Gender Testing

Does She or Doesn’t She? I Mean, Is She or Isn’t She?

Even though there is only one documented case in Olympic history of a man posing as a woman in the Olympics, gender testing is still conducted. It may come as no surprise to some that the Nazis had something to do with that one case.

The Beijing Olympics’ organizers have set up and are ready to test “suspect” female athletes. Beijing is not the first Olympic host to do so. Sydney and Athens did the same. Beijing will use Peking Union Medical College Hospital to make evaluations based on external appearance, hormones, and genes.

It’s probably not in keeping with protocol, but if I were any of the athletes in question, I’d tell them to “Blow me!” - and when they couldn’t, case closed.

Please feel free to leave your witty remark or pun in the comment section.

You Are Not the Bossier of Me!

In an attempt to dissuade a Bossier City, Louisiana robber who did, in fact, get away with an undisclosed amount of money, a Circle K employee threw cleaning solution at the robber, missed, and then threw hot coffee at him. Police haven’t located the robber yet. They’ve likely placed undercover agents in the aloe vera aisle of the local pharmacy. Litigation over the coffee’s temperature is no doubt forthcoming.

Bar None

Chris Gregoire is the governor of Washington. She is also is 61-years old. She was refused entrance to Hannah’s, a downtown Olympia, Washington bar, because she couldn’t prove she was old enough to drink.

She said she felt complimented by the incident. Her husband, Mike, went on in. The owner of the establishment, Todd Ruzicka, said his 23-year-old bouncer needed more training.

Chris, get a grip. No 61-year old has ever been mistaken for a minor. You were more likely refused because you didn’t have identification. Didn’t your mother teach you anything? Were you also wearing tainted underwear?

Mike, if your wife doesn’t get a lawyer, count your blessings. If my husband ever left me at the entrance of a bar under those circumstances, I’d leave him.

Todd, your bouncer doesn’t need more training. He needs glasses.

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Article Author: Diana Hartman

Diana (nee Gulick) Hartman is the Culture and Tastes Editor for Blogcritics.org. She is a freelance writer, mother of three, and a (Ret.) US Marine spouse. She is a Wichita, Kansas native, having also lived in the California desert, Southern California, and eastern North Carolina. …

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  • 1 - klondikekitty

    Jul 31, 2008 at 3:13 am

    Great piece, Diana, i laughed throughout the entire article!! Could almost run this in the Wierd News section of ArcaMax News, if u ask me!!!Keep it up, girl, some things are just too obvious to be ignored!

  • 2 - Joanne Huspek

    Jul 31, 2008 at 5:43 pm

    Hilarious.

    I love it when I get carded. It only happens if I'm with someone noticeably younger, like when I'm winetasting with my son in Napa. Other than that, I'm just another old broad.

  • 3 - Matthew T. Sussman

    Jul 31, 2008 at 8:51 pm

    So, to recap. The Olympics have:

    • Gender testing
    • Restaurants that serve seal penis

    Suffice to say, China will be home to the only collection of dick jokes that are visible from space.

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