Dear Biatch,
I met this guy Nathan a month ago. At first it was wonderful...he was so sweet and thoughtful, and he seemed to really like me. Then out of nowhere he starts acting a little weird last week. I call him just to chat and try to feel him out for if something is wrong. It started out great, but then he tells me, "I think you're really great, but I just feel like something is missing. I'm looking to get married, and I just think I'd know by now if you were the one." What??? It had only been a month, and as far as I knew, it was going great. How could he know so fast, and how could he feel so differently from me? I think if he'd given me a shot, he would have realized there was "something" there.
Love,
Olivia
Dear Olivia,
Unfortunately, there's no convincing a guy there is "something" there if he doesn't feel it on his own. Here's the deal, women, particularly the older they get, tend to be really hopeful that the next guy might be The ONE. Got a good job? Check. Cute enough? Check. Doesn't treat me like crap? Check. If he ticks off enough boxes, and we like kissing him well enough, we thinking to ourselves, "This could be the ONE!" Obviously, though, every half way decent guy can't be the ONE, or else we all would have gotten married and lived happily ever after long ago. So obviously our initial evaluations leave a little something to be desired.
Given women's profound optimism, our instincts are simply not to be trusted sometimes. That said, we should actually trust the man's instincts in this scenario. If he thinks you aren't the woman he'd want to marry, well then Olivia, no matter what you think, you aren't the woman he should marry. In fact, he's doing you a favor by cutting you loose instead of dragging you along while him hems and haws over whether he likes you or not. Do you actually want to marry a man who isn't sure he wants to marry you? Would you be happy knowing you had to cajole someone into thinking you're great?
Article comments
1 - Victor Lana
Good advice, Love.
All Olivia has to do is listen to Bonnie Raitt's song. Remember the words?
I can't make you love me if you don't/
I can't make your heart feel something it won't.
Oh, and good luck, Olivia!
2 - Bob A. Booey
I'll be honest. It's probably because you weren't hot enough for him or he wasn't attracted enough to you, no matter how sensitive he is and how much he wants to get married.
Women would prefer that you don't treat them like absolute crap, but being a little cocky and mean is hot. If you're a guy, you shouldn't try to be aloof and arrogant if you're not, because you'll just seem like the biggest jack-ass. Biatch knows what I'm talking about.
Did you all know Bonnie Raitt went to Harvard? They made a big deal out of that when I was applying there in high school. I wasn't quite Harvard material of course, darlings, so I never sent in my application because it wasn't worth the application fee for a poor young BABsie.
That is all.