Significance: Despite a brief backsliding romance with Colin Farrell (I like the Irishmen, what can I say?) I realize that bad boys just aren't as entertaining as they used to be.
Anthony Head
Begins: I read an article in American Libraries about a TV show that features a librarian character. Intrigued, I tune in to Buffy the Vampire Slayer and am immediately and passionately smitten with Mr. Giles. He's incredibly smart and has the ability to decapitate a vampire without mussing his tie, a characteristic in a romantic partner for which it had never occurred to me to look before.
Ends: Buffy is canceled. BBC America starts running a sitcom featuring Head called Manchild, which is like Sex and the City for middle-aged British men. I don't laugh.
Significance: Although I like them smart and/or with accents, ultimately confirms that I have less than no patience for the male midlife crises.
Jake Gyllenhall
Begins: Enchanted by his performances in Donny Darko and The Good Girl, I dub him my "baby crush", which continues through The Day After Tomorrow, which I go to see on its opening weekend.
Ends: Ultimately, I am too weirded out by my attraction to someone young enough to be my son, assuming I had him when I was 11 years old. Any residual romantic inclinations eradicated by moustache he sports in last half of Brokeback Mountain.
Significance: Although I realize that I am too damn old for this, it occurs to me that perhaps my experiences could be valuable as a teaching tool for others. It's never too late to start bragging about past relationships with celebrities, especially if it will help vulnerable women feel worse about their chances at happiness.
-- Dr. Kati, The Love Librarian
Article comments
1 - Amrita
This is hilarious! Even if my jaw dropped with the Stephen Collins thing (no comments on Shatner) :P
And you're never too old for imaginary boyfriends!
2 - Friend Mouse
Outstanding and very funny! I'm right there with you on "ultimately Nathan Fillion who earns coveted 'Spaceship Captain for Life' designation." And personally I'd have to add Johnny Depp (starting with 21 Jump Street and not yet ending) and Christian Slater (c. Heathers).