Annals of male suffering, chapter 41,670,065:
"Although no one seems to talk publicly about the problem, Josh is only one of dozens of men who have confided to me that witnessing the births of their children has made it difficult for them to be attracted to their wives, at least in the short run."
— From the NY Times.
Fuck me with a dangling penis participle in my post-partum belly button.
You don't feel like screwing your wife because you saw a baby come out of the beloved twat? Am I getting this right: your wife just passed a brick through a keyhole, and you're the one with the trauma?
What's wrong with you, dude? Why did you get married in the first place? Didn't they tell you about this in biology class? Wuzzes all. The lads are letting us down on this side of the gender fence. What next, cognitive therapy for guys who heard their girlfriends squeak a fart? Analysis for dudes who saw their wives drool in their sleep?
Oh, these sensitive penis carriers. I feel about as sorry for this bunch of crybabies as I feel for Paris Hilton's puppy.
In related news, Yale Professor Craphogger has assembled a crack team of surgeons to assist in the delivery of any shit from husbands after Thanksgiving meals, in case their delicate sphincters aren't up to the task.
(Enjoyed this? More stuff like it at Adam Ash.)