If you want to grow old together...
Don't let things grow old.
How do couples build a forever, loving relationship?
Even people in stable relationships can become distracted and vulnerable through exposure to new people and activities. The attraction and excitement generated by a new person or activity is just that – newness. Something or someone different can spark curiosity and adventure. Novelty has been shown to release positive chemical reactions in the brain. We need it!
Unfortunately, many couples seem to over-focus on children or other people and activities, resulting in the neglect of their intimate relationship. They seek newness or create challenges outside of their relationship. Sound familiar? Refocus your energy now to add zest and strengthen long-term intimacy.
To prevent your relationship from growing old, routinely renew it in small everyday ways.
- Join together in a hobby.
- Teach/take an adult education class: cooking, rock climbing, photography...
- Experiment with new restaurants or recipes.
- Plan a candlelight dinner.
- Schedule mini-vacations and weekend travel (without other couples or kids).
- Plan surprises – like the mystery day trip you took as a kid.
- Consider cultural activities like concerts, lectures, museums, and art exhibits.
- Start a coed sports team or join a gym together.
- Read the same book. Then talk about it.
- Make love in an unexpected location.
- Change your hairstyle or appearance to please both of you.
- Put a playful or lovable sticky note in your partner's vehicle.
- Do the pleasantly unexpected – like a favor.
You get the idea. Discover something different! Now, I hear couples – especially parents – saying, "We don't have time." To which I say, "Can your relationship afford you NOT taking time?" If you schedule time, it will happen.