Common notions coming out of the world of self-help these days (Laws of Attraction and Power of Intention, for example) can fuel a belief for many that once one makes the commitment to a major life change, the Universe will just clear the path and let us sail safely to our chosen harbor because we want to reach our goals so very badly. Hey, we're good people; we're working hard, we have integrity, commitment, and passion, so things should work out, right? I'm open to abundance, so the channels should be open now, shouldn't they?
Not so fast, Buckaroo. Remember you are part of a whole network of relationships and roles. Instant life balance just doesn't happen. It can’t happen. Sometimes, things have to fall apart first.
Picture your life like a mobile. You blow on one part to shift its position and the whole thing starts to turn. It’s a system in balance, but the balance is dynamic. I hear people talking about wanting more balance in life even as they are in the middle of recreating themselves. “When everything is set, I can move forward. Once I clean my desk, or read that last book, or get just one more certification, or get past the holidays, or finish this last project... I can work on this big transition stuff. Then, once that transition stuff is over, I’ll just relax and enjoy this wonderful feeling of serenity.”
When it doesn’t happen that way, we can start to feel like we aren't doing it right or aren't really ready yet. We start working harder to get that balance established. Ultimately we may get burned out and say, “You know, I’m basically happy,” and give up the whole concept that life can get any better for us or that we will ever really be ready to do what we would love to do.
Article comments
1 - Howard Dratch
Laura. Good advice and fair warning to people on the cusp of change. Still, the gain of change is worth the pain.
I left my secure job of 11 years for the vagaries of freelance writing and photography in 1981. Perhaps it was the raw clams at a wedding I shot (I hate weddings!) but I spent nearly 6 months with hepatitus. Accompanied by the need to learn how to photograph and to find clients. In the end I did and the pleasure of 18 years doing what I wanted was worth all the pain.
I, luckily or wisely, have a supportive wife who, along with her parents, never thought much of my being a social worker nor working for the State of New York. She starved with me and worked with me and together we carved out the life we wanted. It took work. It took support.
Good advice, Laura.