Dear Readers,
Some people are just one big fat disappointment. You know who I'm talking about. It's that guy who you meet who has so much promise but turns out to be an utter disaster. At first he seems amazing, but a few weeks or a few months in, you realize...he's nothing like you thought. Rather, he's just a big f*ing disappointment.
Now I know this pain, better than most. I've met some serious disappointments in my time. Some are like David, and they seem like they are everything you were ever looking for. Others are like Juan and there is so much build up and initial flirting that you're sure if you ever go out, it'll be magic. Regardless, these guys are a figment of your imagination. Anyone, and I mean anyone, can be wonderful for a few dates. Even Ted Bundy was charming at first!
Nothing hurts worse than disappointment. So be strong and protect your hearts, ladies. Don't believe the hype. It's ok to be hopeful about someone, but don't blind yourself to the signs that Lover Boy is NOT in fact as good as he at first seemed! We often stick it out way longer than we should simply because we are so damned hopeful that this crappy behavior is the anomaly and that Lover Boy is in fact the delightful guy he seemed to be at first.
A rule of thumb to live by: If Lover Boy has been crap for more dates than he's been great, accept that you were wrong about him and cut your losses. Remember it's not your fault that you saw the best in him...it's his fault for not being able to really be that man.
Love,
Biatch
Article comments
1 - Phillip Winn
No question today. Personal experience in this case?
Man, I'm glad I'm not single.
2 - Love Biatch
Yes indeed, even the Love Biatch has her own disappointments to nurse! To be fair, being single has its perks, but sometimes the agony outweighs the benefits.
I forgot to mention, you can read more about this topic and others at lovebiatch.blogspot.com.
3 - Eric Olsen
say it isn't so! My interim between marriages of about 8 years was both wondrous and awful
4 - Eric Berlin
I think single life is much more of a roller coaster ride (for many) high highs and (sometimes many) low lows. Commitment and marriage offers more of a contented middle, which is great... provided it's contented!
Part of getting to know other people is knowing yourself: what your instincts are (good and bad), the "type" you go for, and so on. Looking for red flags is also really important -- and paying them heed.
5 - Love Biatch
I wholeheartedly agree with the rollercoaster notion. That's why I think learning how to face disappointment head-on, rather than living in denial and wasting precious time, is one of the most important things a single person can learn to do.
6 - Victor Plenty
Single or not, nobody has time to waste. Doesn't seem to stop most of us, though.
7 - Eric Olsen
"hours are like diamonds, don't let them waste"
Sir Mick
8 - Eric Berlin
You bring up a good point, Love -- it's easy to waste lots and lots of time on something that you know in your heart of hearts isn't going anywhere.
Some people... [shiver]... waste a lifetime.