5. Pick the right site. There are all kinds of sites these days, so make sure you pick one that is well tailored to you. Some sites like eharmony do elaborate personality testing to match you with the right person, but then don't let you narrow the geographic search very much. So if you're someone like me who thinks the Inland Empire and Long Beach might as well be foreign countries, avoid sites like these. Other sites like say nerve and craigslist have a more sexual bent, while at a jdate you have a fairly homogeneous pool. Pick wisely and you are far more likely to find people to your liking. Browse the site a bit before buying in...I've checked out several sites only to see that there was nary an attractive man in site.
6. Don't forget that people you know will see you on there. People seem to forget that their friends, neighbors and coworkers are all online dating, too, which means that they can see your carefully crafted profile just like everyone else can. So don't lie, and don't say anything embarrassing, and certainly don't think you can get away with cheating on your significant other on a site. My friend was dating a guy from one site. When we ran into him one night, it turned out I actually knew him through friends. I also happened to know he had a girlfriend. How that guy thought he could keep anyone who knew him from seeing him on a major dating site, I'm not sure! My aunt is on another site. She received a letter from a man and thought he looked familiar. A little research reminded her why...he was her friend's husband (present tense!) and was in fact a decade older than he claimed to be! Not only is it just cruel to cheat like this, but it's just plain stupid.
So happy internet surfing, readers! For all of the challenges of online dating, it is an effective way to meet people who have something in common with you, which is more than I can say for every cocktail infused evening out on the town.
Love,
Biatch
http://lovebiatch.blogspot.com
Article comments
1 - Bob A. Booey
Did you like that show "Hooking Up," Biatch dear?
That is all.
2 - Esther Kustanowitz
Evan Marc Katz rocks, and his book is great: funny and informative, and doesn't make you feel like an idiot...
3 - Kathryn Lord
You've made some great points, LB, particularly about telling the truth and not making assumptions about the privacy of dating sites. I tell all my Romance Clients to always tell the truth. It's much easier that way, you don't have to remember so much, and you won't be caught later as a liar.
4 - Bob A. Booey
Romance clients. That's funny :)
I love your movies, Kathryn Lord.
Especially the interracial foot fetish bondage bukkake ones.
That is all.
5 - Love Biatch
I only caught the final two episodes of Hooking Up, but I think it did a great job of showing how wonderful/god awful the internet dating experience and really dating in general can be.
There is something inately strange about a dating scenario in which you know the other person is dating lots of other people, and you can actually even see when they are on-line cruising for other women.
6 - Bob A. Booey
It doesn't sound like it'd ever be the scene for me.
Do you find the Internet dating service guys are better or worse all-around than a guy you'd meet at a bar or club? There seems to be some of the same degree of randomness there.
That is all.
7 - Love Biatch
Really I find the quality of men on dating sites to be about the same as men you meet at random. The advantage that internet sites have is that you can pre-screen guys for things like education, religion, etc, based on their profile (assuming they're telling the truth). Meet at a guy at a bar and you don't know anything about him other than he's attractive.
In the end, I think meeting someone through friends is the best case scenario because then they're prescreened and you know they're legit. But assuming that's not an option, internet dating can be the fastest way to meet new people.
8 - Bob A. Booey
Biatch, my dear.
Have you ever tried speed dating?
I'm sure most of the people there are hideous, but my buddy who does not have the luck with women that I wish for him keeps saying he wants to do it and that he's afraid to go alone.
I, of course, have no interest because I'm already more than occupied, but I thought about going just as a goof, with a fake profession (something goofy or just lying and saying I was unemployed to gauge their reaction), fake name, and fake views on everything based on the person in front of me, unless they were way hot, but what are the odds of that? I also thought about being direct, confrontational, and evasive whenever women asked me questions about job/family/marriage in our 2-minute "date." I think it'd be funny to see who responded how since you can't have that kind of freedom in most social encounters with people you're expected to respect.
I'm all about the random sociological experiments and that'd be a more concentrated form of that then the goofy roles I play in public with my friends. You can find out a lot about people, like how backwards their views are about social issues or what kind of trauma they've suffered or what their bizarre sexual proclivities are within minutes because EVERYONE's so eager to self-disclose and reveal their souls. Sometimes I think I find out more about people I have no attraction to by goofing around, pushing their buttons and getting information out of them than I do by being my usual self around people I do like, where I'd rather almost not know about the insanity.
But Ali G and 40 Year Old Virgin already stole that speed dating bit.
That is all.
9 - Bob A. Booey
I don't think my buddy will get me to play along, however. I'm not that mean.
That is all.
10 - DATINGMONKEY
I completely agree with all you say, Biatch, but then I usually do.
The only thing I'd add is that, well, no-one needs a guide to internet dating. Really, they don't. You just need:
1. Patience
2. Common sense
3. A bloody good sense of humour
4. Mild cynicism combined with slight optimism
5. Resilience (you're going to be knocked back a few times)
6. Cake and gin for when it goes wrong.
Yours in dating
DM x