Last night I had the chance to fulfill a dream. I got to meet the legendary Emo Phillips at the Punchline in Sacramento. That goes to show you I might not have a lot of really great dreams. Still, this was a once in a lifetime chance and I was not about to blow it.
I first heard of Emo 20 years ago when I bought a second-hand audiocassette at the North Little Rock, Arkansas Public Library book sale. It was probably the best half a buck I ever spent. I kept that tape, E=Mo2, until I used it up while I was in the hospital two years ago. They say laughter is the best medicine, and while I am still pretty sold on a well-trained medical staff, that tape did keep my spirits up while I was in there.
On Tuesday of this week I got an email saying Emo was going to be at the Punchline all weekend and I immediately starting kissing up to my beloved wife, Patti. After a few tears and several promises dealing with yard work I am hoping she forgets this weekend, I was told I could go see the show. That was the easy part. I started trying to figure out what to wear and worrying about what the show was going to be like. I didn't know if I would have a minimum to drink or if they even had soft drinks. I admit it; she don't let me out much anymore.
I was worried about how I was going to act when I got to meet him face to face. I had already conned, er, discussed with the management about meeting him, but it was still up in the air. What if I belched in the middle of the meeting or, God forbid, farted? What if I ate something and had a stain on my shirt? How would he react? Would he think I was an uncouth slob with few manners? That would normally be an accurate assessment, but this time I wanted to impress someone.
I wore a nice shirt and no tie. I didn't want to look to geeky. Hair nice, just a soda to drink, and sweet lordy how good those nachos looked at the table in front of me. Plate piled high with cheese, chips, and black olives. I honestly wondered what they would do if I just joined them for a bite or two. I thought about the bouncer and just decided to suffer. They say suffering is good for you. I don't think so.
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