Last night I had the chance to fulfill a dream. I got to meet the legendary Emo Phillips at the Punchline in Sacramento. That goes to show you I might not have a lot of really great dreams. Still, this was a once in a lifetime chance and I was not about to blow it.I first heard of Emo 20 years ago when I bought a second-hand audiocassette at the North Little Rock, Arkansas Public Library book sale. It was probably the best half a buck I ever spent. I kept that tape, E=Mo2, until I used it up while I was in the hospital two years ago. They say laughter is the best medicine, and while I am still pretty sold on a well-trained medical staff, that tape did keep my spirits up while I was in there. On Tuesday of this week I got an email saying Emo was going to be at the Punchline all weekend and I immediately starting kissing up to my beloved wife, Patti. After a few tears and several promises dealing with yard work I am hoping she forgets this weekend, I was told I could go see the show. That was the easy part. I started trying to figure out what to wear and worrying about what the show was going to be like. I didn't know if I would have a minimum to drink or if they even had soft drinks. I admit it; she don't let me out much anymore. 
I was worried about how I was going to act when I got to meet him face to face. I had already conned, er, discussed with the management about meeting him, but it was still up in the air. What if I belched in the middle of the meeting or, God forbid, farted? What if I ate something and had a stain on my shirt? How would he react? Would he think I was an uncouth slob with few manners? That would normally be an accurate assessment, but this time I wanted to impress someone.I wore a nice shirt and no tie. I didn't want to look to geeky. Hair nice, just a soda to drink, and sweet lordy how good those nachos looked at the table in front of me. Plate piled high with cheese, chips, and black olives. I honestly wondered what they would do if I just joined them for a bite or two. I thought about the bouncer and just decided to suffer. They say suffering is good for you. I don't think so. Finally the show started. Emo is everything in person I had listened to over the years. Sure, his hair is different, but then he is hitting fifty-one now. It is grayer and cut in a more 'hip' style, and the chicks really liked it. You could tell he had them wrapped around his little finger, which wouldn't take much. Emo would be the first to admit that he is on the, well… 'slim' side. At one point, I thought I could see the backdrop through him. God, the man needs to eat some chicken or something. Have a steak now and then, some carbo's dude.He is now 51 and is currently in the middle of a cross-country tour. He still loves the ladies, but he says, "A lot of girls go out with me just to further their careers. Damn anthropologists." 
He did well over an hour on stage last night, and even though I was familiar with a lot of his work, I only heard him repeat about three or four jokes. For me, it was pretty much all new material and clean as well. Sure, some of it got a little blue, but 'blue' just makes an audience think. Dirty is a crutch. Part of an Emo show is watching him react on stage, moving into various stances and poses as he works to draw an audience into his realm. As you watch him, you realize these poses and stances are simply a part of who he is. You almost believe that if you met him walking down the street and asked him about his day, he would begin shaking his arms and saying, "Hunnnn Hunnnnn" over and over until he finally got a sentence out.
"A sinister cabal of superior writers."
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