When you lead a busy and harried lifestyle like starlet Lindsay Lohan, you need an effective, low-maintenance skin care regimen. Nothing says acne and skin blemishes like late night Jäger shots and coke snorting. Luckily for parent company Guthy-Renker, ProActiv has just the solution to fix what ails a Hollywood hottie, and it scored another big name star to hawk its skincare wares to the world.
Receiving a sweet $2 million dollar deal to be the new face for the popular three-step acne treatment, Lindsay Lohan is the perfect candidate for the blemish-free world of ProActiv. Teenagers can relate to her as well as the hormonally-challenged adults who are still plagued by grotesque bouts of skin flare-ups.
Others gracing the ProActiv lineup are Jessica Simpson, PDiddy (Sean "Puffy") Combs, Elle McPherson, Alicia Keyes, Brooke Shields, and Kelly Clarkson. Damn, that's a lot of big-name acne.
Speaking of scoring, also haunting the "firecrotch" rumor mills is a "blind item" story by the funny-as-a-three-dollar bill gossip queen Ted Casablanca.
In this tale of debauchery, the heroine of our "blind item" is aptly named "Morgan Mayhem" (I bet Ted laughed long and hard at his cleverness on that one) and Morgan is starring in her own dope-show.
"A swanky Hollywood hotel, known for its crazy parties and late-night flings," Casablanca writes. "A very nearly has-been actor is escorting two lovely ladies to a friend's room upstairs. Said gray-haired type accidentally happens into the wrong suite at a very inopportune time. Morgan is alone in the room, 'cept for her coke stash and bodyguards. And one particularly helpful guard is choppin' up lines for Miz M. Now, that's stellar service!
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - DJRadiohead
Welcome back, Dawn. Excellent as always.
::cough:: allegedly ::cough::
2 - hello
And Lindsay's middle name is Morgan :)
3 - Eric Olsen
nice juxtaposition Dawn - and thanks for the info "hello," very telling
4 - Dawn
Good to be back DJR. Good thing those celebs don't take a break :)
5 - Eric Olsen
you still look like what's-her-name
6 - Mark Saleski
so dawn is a scientologist now? dang, life's comlicated.
7 - Eric Berlin
"d lister whore" -- you just can't make that up, either!
Great stuff Dawn, greater yet to see you back and in top form.
8 - Eric Olsen
a Scientologist who looks like she just got goosed with a lemon
9 - Hector
What did Tara Reid ever do to you? Why don't you find something better to do than bitch about someone you never met?
10 - Eric Olsen
Hector, if you know Tara, please tell us about her.
11 - yoxy7112
Jeager shots and coke snorting?
This sounds more like fiction, because I don't see any facts! I highly doubt a successful celebrity such as Lindsay Lohan, would be snorting cocaine! This sounds like the headline that cryed WOLF!
12 - Dawn
Oh yes, Yoxy, how shocking that a celebrity such as Lindsay Lohan would do coke. Um, the only facts in question were whether this particular tale of coking it up was true. She's so much as admitted to doing coke in interviews, so her coke virgin status is not really the issue here.
As for the facts in this case - that's why I wrote "speculate." It doesn't just cover your ass, it's a neat word to say too.
13 - Dawn
Oh and Hector - I have absolutely NOTHING better to do than bitch about whores like Tara Reid. If she's a personal friend, accept my insincere apologies.
14 - cortney
seriously think about it people she would do coke. she is famous and has a lot of money. she also got very thin very quickly. you don' ever see pictures of her working out or anything like that just in bathingsuits slutting around...think about it, models do coke why wouldn't she?
15 - Matthew T. Sussman
Must be diet coke.
16 - DJRadiohead
No celebrity I know of ever did any cocaine. Scandalous, Dawn!
Damn, there are some sheep out there.
17 - Dawn
Hehe, diet coke. That's funny.
18 - DJRadiohead
Maybe I ought to switch to the diet coke.
Do I sense a truce once again being struck between Dawn and The Suss?
19 - Dawn
Doubtless DJR! Or is that doubtful?
20 - Mary K. Williams
I was wondering when the next celeb skewering would take place - served with Diet Coke no less!
Thanks for the smiles Dawn - : )
21 - Charles Almon
Whatever happened to Cher's fat hairdresser. Did she swallow all of her CREME rinse. Remember when BIG staors shilled for cigarette ads. They all died of lung cancer. Rich but dead.
22 - Matt
Ya know its kinda sad, an average person gets involved with the wrong people and gets caught up into drugs and everyone tries their best to be supportive and help thier friend from destroying their life, but when someone famous gets caught up in some shit its a big fuckin joke, as if because she has money, shes not susceptible to the negative effects on her body. Grow up people, just because your life sucks doesnt give you the right to judge other people because they made a bad personal decision to do cocaine; to many of us it only shows the negativity in your own life.
23 - who cares
personally I dislike the articles tone, see no attempt at verification of facts and consider this a really lousy attempt of reporting what might be considered an entertainment news writing. I also find it interesting that those who disagreed or made a derogatory comment were attacked or replied to by you the writer. From a journalist and editor, do yourself a favor, stay out of the writing business.
24 - rj
eh, who cares?
25 - tekierz
I have no doubt in my mind that Lindsey Lohan is a coke whore.