Sometimes I'm not the smoothest guy in the world. That is a nice, indirect way of saying that I'm a klutz.
You? I know you're saying, the guy who is lucky if his socks match, you're not all together all the time? I'm afraid not.
Recently, for example, I was supposed to drive down to Poolesville, Md, to meet some friends for a mountain bike ride. I was driving past Middletown when I did an inventory check. Me? Check. My bike helmet? Check. Bike water bottle? Check. Bicycle? Bicycle? I knew I had forgotten something.
I returned home, grabbed the bike, and left again, only I got lost and by the time I got there my friends were done biking and had split.
Welcome to my klutzy world.
A world where I sprained my ankle when I missed a step while carrying some boxes for a friend moving out of a second story building.
A world where I almost did the same thing soon after while helping another friend move. Not to mention that I hit my head not once or twice but three times on the stairs. You'd think I'd notice. Well, I did notice the pain, I just forgot to duck.
And then there was my bad pants day. I do my laundry at a laundromat and I fold most of the pants but I apparently missed one. Usually if I find a pair of wrinkled pants I can hang it on top of a door and the wrinkles go off to wrinkleland.
When I slipped these pants on before work I thought they were wrinkle-free.
The first clue there was a problem came when a colleague gave me a look. I couldn't read the look. Then I heard him say, "Excuse me for a minute." He interrupted the interview so he could turn to me and say, "Do you have time to go back and change those," pointing at my pants.
Article comments
1 - chantal stone
LOL, this is hilarious, Scott! great piece...and remember, your klutziness is endearing! ;)
2 - Scott Butki
Thanks. I was debating whether this was funny
or pitiful.
But I'll settle for endearing.
3 - A.L. Harper
It made me want to give you a hug.
4 - Mat Brewster
I hear ya man. I've got the klutz gene as well. I once left an iron sitting on a pair of pants and it left a dark iron shaped burn stain right on my khakis. And I thought those only existed in cartoons.
Yesterday I wore a nice comfy shirt to work. Looked good I thought. Then my boss comes to me and informs me that there are two big old holes in the armpits. The nest four hours until lunch, when I could change, was a constant barage of folks telling me about the holes.
Is there some kind of self help group for klutzes?
5 - Scott Butki
There IS A self-help group for klutzes but unfortunately its members keep forgetting the address for it.
6 - Elvira Black
Ah, Scott, it's all in the context, methinks.
If you wore the wrinkled pants to one of those open mics with the acoustic emo performers, I'll bet there'd be some women there who would find it well-nigh irresistible. In that more boho, casual environment, I think it would spell "devil may care, sensitive artist type" loud and clear--kind of like Kurt Cobain with those moth-eaten sweaters and unwashed hair. I mean, I don't think Kurt had the time or inclination for knitting, folding, and ironing in the grand scheme of things.
But seriously, I loved this--it IS endearing! I say, run with it and let it work for you!
7 - Scott Butki
Next time I see someone look at my wrinkled shirt I'll just think,"Irons are for other people. I'm endearing, dammnit!"
:)
8 - Scott Butki
Oh my, I just did one of the dumbest, klutziest things I've done in a while:
I put laundry in a laundramat,
went to relax, listen to music, work on a piece for this site and next thing I know it's 9:05.
The laundramat closes at 9. It opens again at 6.
I have no clean pants.
So tomorrow i'll get up at 6, before work, and hope to retrieve my clothes.
9 - Scott Butki
The good news I successfully retrieved all of my clothes.