Hello, my name is Filthy Rich and I became a multi millionaire by using a little known method of obtaining valuable property from idiots who were so stupid that they let me have their property for free or next to nothing.
I have homes in New York, London, Paris, Rome and Vail Colorado where I ski all day long unless I am having sex with one of the 200 beautiful women I keep around just to have fun when I'm not skiing. By the way I drive a Bentley on Mondays, a Rolls on Tuesday, a Ferrari on Wednesday, A Lamborghini on Thursday and a Hummer on Friday, Saturday and Sunday (I like the Hummer).
I travel between my homes in my private jet which I bought from a Saudi Prince who had to downsize. I am currently converting an Aircraft Carrier to use as my personal yacht (I got it for free from the U.S. Government as War Surplus) so I can land my plane on it and take my cars with me if I want to.
Now as you can see I lead a great life. I have all the money I will ever need. I have all the homes, planes, cars, and women I will ever need and I don't have to work. But you know what, I didn't feel fulfilled. There just seemed to be a void in my life. Something was missing. I just kept thinking about it, over and over, day after day, night after night.
Then I finally figured it out. I knew what I had to do in order to become a whole man. I had to share my wealth making secrets with you and you and you and you and, well, with everybody. I was being greedy. Why should I just sit back and live a life of luxury while everybody else was struggling to get by on their weekly paycheck at a job that they must hate. I had finally seen the light. I must share my secrets with the whole world.
So, this Saturday, at 2 p.m. at the Los Angeles Convention Center, I want you all to come hear my "Secrets to a Successful & Luxurious Life" Seminar. Don't worry, the admission is free. You will be charged absolutely nothing. In fact we will serve Free Coffee and Cookies. But here is the best part. After the seminar you will be given the opportunity to purchase the entire seminar on either videotape or a boxed set of 3 DVDs.
Article comments
1 - Felicia Angel
I would like to know if you are sooo wealthy rich why do you have to charge to have someone know what you do to acually suceed in life when they have ABSOLUTLY nothing to give and want a life to lead they have to apy someone who already has milions of dollars??
2 - nick sat
Obviously, Felicia Angel missed the part of the article, written clearly at the top and beginning of it, that read "Satire." The article isn't real. It's a joke. Read a book, little girl, at least the dictionary.
3 - asia
u r having sex you crusty thang youre not sopossed o say dat