There was a family wedding in India a few months ago. So my son, N, and I pretty much camped out at the wedding hall with family (but came home to sleep). We had almost every meal there for three days.
At one point, N had had enough of it. He clearly demarcates between "Indian food" (rice, idlis, dosa, chapati, curries, sambhar) and "American food" (pbj sandwiches, pancakes, pasta, cereal) and if he's had, let's say, idlis for breakfast, and rice and sambhar for lunch, then he flat out asks for American food for dinner.
So after a couple of times of eating at the wedding, just as we were going into dinner, he asked to go home. He was tired. We had just returned from an overseas trip and he was recovering from a bad cough. Plus, at home, he could have pasta for dinner.
I hesitated. What will the relatives think? How will it look if I took off just as everyone was getting ready to sit together for dinner?
On the other hand, I really did not want to force N to stay if he did not want to. I could have imposed my will and made him stay. But why? He wasn't making a fuss. He was making logical arguments about why we should go home ("Mom, I'm tired." "Mom, look how bad my cough is," followed by a demonstration for my benefit.) I looked at N's pleading eyes and decided we were leaving.
We flagged down an auto rickshaw and headed home. As we were riding back home he said, "Thanks Mom. Are you upset because we had to leave early?" I said, “You’re welcome. Of course I’m not upset, but glad you told me what you wanted to do.” The relief on his face was palpable.
On the one hand, I was thrilled that he had said thank you, but on the other hand I was feeling wretched that he was feeling relieved or thankful at all. He was just being a five-year-old and I should be as understanding as I was in that instance every day, every instance.
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