You will have to wait in line. The only way around this is to do all your Christmas shopping on a Tuesday morning in October. This is no longer an option. Don’t be the queue jumping asshole that everyone hates. Be patient; wait your turn. I myself plan on spending my last day off before Christmas in line with a little Sweet Revenge. Hey, Christmas is the same day every year, I should really know better.
You don’t have a quick question. Anything that requires more than ten words or a description involving hand gestures is not quick. Really, anything beyond, “Where are the restrooms?” is not quick. If you don’t know the title of the book or the cut and color of the sweater you’re going to require more than ten seconds of the salesperson’s time. Sorry, dude that’s just how it is. Also, you will have to wait in line.
The salesperson doesn’t want you to pat them on the back for a job well done. They know they do their job reasonably well. You are the fourteenth person in half an hour to ask that question. They were already headed that way. That is their favorite hat. Physical contact between friends and peers may be comforting, but its just creepy when the third baby boomer of the day gives the Goth girl behind the counter that reassuring tap. Trust me, she doesn’t want you to touch her and you still have to wait in line.
Appropriateness is key. Always endeavor to open with an appropriate line. Say, “Excuse me” or “Pardon me” or “Hello” or “Can you help me?” Or even, “Do you work here?” Don’t say to the sales girl who's on her knees looking for a sweater, “Hey, while you’re down there can you hand me the yellow one?” Even if she’s kneeling next to exactly what you are looking for. After the balding fat guy with the shrieking wife patted her on the back and condescending, Hugo Boss-soaked brat she could smell coming from fifteen feet away asked for the sweater she's currently looking for, last thing she wanted to hear were the words, “While you’re down there...” She’s wondering right now how much she really needs this job. Certainly, she doesn’t give a fuck about the last minute gift for your mother-in-law. And, that might have been a quick question, but you still have to wait in line.
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Article comments
1 - Amber Nussbaum
Loved this.
I hated working retail at the holidays (I think Wal-Mart was the worst).. and this really made me laugh.
I'm making nearly all my presents this year, between knitting, screenprinting, letterpress, ceramics and painting... I've found a way to avoid the malls completely. I love it.
2 - Eric Olsen
It's important that customers show basic courtesy and empathy for those who wait on them, but the reciprocal is true as well. Since in theory everyone is getting what they want out of this kind of commercial relationship, maintaining a positive attitude should be possible on both sides
3 - Distorted Angel
A few years ago I learned to do 95% of my Christmas shopping online. It has literally changed my attitude toward the holidays, and the service person I am nicest to this time of year is the UPS man.
4 - Eric Olsen
great point - while the service people may be unhappy about the crowds at retail this time of year, management is hoping to hold on to them as long as they can. Online retail is just getting started
5 - BRICKLAYER
Where the heck has Amber been?!? I have greatly missed my daily doses of her 20 something straightedge hardcore escapades.
Oh, and please, if anybody had been planning on getting me anything this year, please refrain, and send a donation to PETA on my behalf instead. Unless you really wanted to get me the Misfits Coffin box set, or a pair of Screamin' Eagle exhaust pipes. Then, by all means hook me up.
6 - Eric Olsen
yes, we have missed our Amber who is off being a responsible adult these days
And re PETA, I have heard the board secretly meets at a steak house in Aspen wearing gaudy fur and cowboy hats
7 - BRICKLAYER
If that's all they wear, then sign me up!
Cause, like, that's straight out of the James Bond fantasy playbook!
8 - Eric Olsen
very Playboy 1969
9 - southorn godfrey
Like I posted on my blog, there are two big bo bos people make when shopping. 1)Try everything on, waist associates time, with no intention of buying anything. 2) expect the associate to provide pen and paper whe the style they want isn't available so they can write the model down and then go and purchase it from somwhere else. Such bad etiquette. Read it, Know it, Live it!