24. Has made movies in every single genre.
25. He played Buddha. No, I’m serious, “the” Buddha. Between playing the freaking Buddha and playing a stoner in Bill & Ted’s, why do people think he has no range?
26. Back in the '80s, he taught stoners of the world something about history (and brought Napoleon to Waterlube). Also, I'd be remiss if I didn't add that he's totally non, non non, non non, non, non-heinous.
27. And despite being viewed as a “stoner,” has never been pigeonholed on screen. In his various film roles, he has played an FBI agent, a cop, a serial killer, a lawyer, a doctor, a dentist, the One, a Quarterback, a musician, an ad exec, a nuclear physicist (hello!), a redneck, a soldier, the freakin’ Buddha, a gay hustler, and a Dog Boy.
28. He knows kung fu. So, you know, don’t screw with him.
29. When Keanu decides to do a sequel: Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey. When Keanu decides not to do a sequel: Speed 2: Cruise Control. Can this guy pick winners, or what?
30. Is none of the following: a Scientologist (Tom Cruise), a john (Hugh Grant), a drug addict (Robert Downey Jr.), a cheat (Jude Law), a phone-thrower (Russell Crowe), hard to work with (Val Kilmer) or a mean bastard (Sean Penn).
31. Beside his obvious acting talents, Keanu also surfs, rides motorcycles, was a good enough hockey goalie to earn the nickname “The Wall,” performs Shakespeare, reads philosophy, plays guitar in a slew of rock bands, ballroom dances, horseback rides, and “knows” kung fu. Is there anything he can’t do?
32. His name is actually pronounced “kay-ah-nu,” not “key-ah-nu”, and yet he never makes a fuss out of it (ahem, DEMI!).
33. Has romanced on-screen: Charlize Theron (twice), Sandra Bullock (twice), Monica Bellucci(twice), Rachel Weisz (twice), Carrie-Anne Moss (thrice), Diane Lane, Connie Nielson, Dina Meyer, and Uma Thurman. This does not necessarily disprove his specific level of suckage, but it does prove that hot actresses want to bang him on-screen, which is an important quality in today’s movie stars. For example, nobody wants to nail Adam Sandler, and he’s not nearly as good an actor as Keanu, even if you count Punch-Drunk Love twice.
34. Was in the Pilot episode of the awesome short-lived Jay Mohr show, Action. And since that show ruled all, he in turn, receives a percentage of the ruling. Let’s say 17%.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Snarkattack
You so have me at points #7 and #12. Oh, and #38. Got to love it when it's all about the craft of one's profession, not the glam.
But why oh why that performance in Coppola's 'Dracula'? I do like the film despite being a lit student devoid of any imagination and thus always canning film adapatations of books, but Keanu's performance in it makes me cringe, despite my best efforts not to.
Perhaps he's an actor that everyone loves to hate, or heap crap on? By contrast, I've never heard anyone 'diss' him in either of the Bill & Ted films. That would be sacrilege, not to mention...bogus.
2 - Chris Beaumont
I have always given him all the credit in the world for putting himself out there in all sorts of genres, but I still think of him more as a performer than an actor, as all of his roles seem to riff off of one character.f Kind of like Ted after being sent to military school.....
3 - GeorgeAClark
I've always liked Keanu, and didn't know about the hockey puck story. Interesting stuff. Kissing Sandra Bullock with stitches must have been murder. WitC is one of my favorites.
But Orlando Bloom a "pussy boy"? You might be interested to read that he's a pretty tough guy under those eyelashes and dimples. He took a nasty fall off a horse while filming LotR (he did a lot of his own horse work and other stunts), having another rider land on top of him in heavy gear, which broke his rib. He was on set the next day fiming scenes where he had to run over rough terrain for hours. I think I'd rather kiss someone with stitches. The fact that Bloom survived a three-story fall when he was 21 and recovered from a broken back (among a host of other injuries throught his life including broken legs and three skull fractures) and has gone on to be as athletic and daring as he is pretty much shoots your "pussy boy" theory about him out of the water.
4 - Ray Ellis
minor point on #6--Jean-Claude is Belgian, not German.
5 - NANCY B
TOTALLY AGREE DUDE!
6 - Cass
You forgot his classic Jonathan Harker in "Dracula" and also his turn as "Constantine." He's always coming up with surprising roles. My personal favorite was his minor character in "Parenthood," another role where he played a "dumb guy with a heart of gold."
7 - Steve C.
I respect the man, both for his business acumen and his knowledge of his own limited range. Most of the time, he'll pick roles that fall within the kinds of things he can do without too much trouble. And when he does try to challenge himself (i.e. The Devil's Advocate, The Gift), it's at least fascinating to watch.
That doesn't make him a good actor, of course, but it makes him a fairly smart one. Which is more than we can say for Paul Walker, Freddie Prinze Jr., etc.
8 - Silas Kain
I've always been in love with Keanu. He's been underrated and often overlooked and that's okay because he hasn't been a real victim of the blood thirsty paparazzi, etc. Who needs bubble butt Cruise? Who even thinks Paul Walker can act? Imagine Keanu as Lestat vs. Cruise's poor, schlocky, tacky performance. Keanu in Silasian means raw sex on a stick.
9 - El Bicho
I am fine with Keanu, dude, but...
"the man who would be Neo" already was Neo, unless you know of a fourth sequel. {shiver} Speaking of which, he picked the two Matrix ones. That's a negative.
"Has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. They don’t just give those out, you know."
Yes, they do. In order for a person to get a star on the Walk of Fame, he or she must agree to attend a presentation ceremony within five years of selection, and a $15,000 fee must be paid to the Trust for costs such as security at the star ceremony.
Ryan Seacrest and The Oleson twins have stars. Woody Allen and Stankey Kubrick do not. case closed.
"Name another supposedly “sucky” actor that has a college class named after him?"
The poetry of Tupac.
10 - Deano
I still recall watching "Much Ado About Nothing.." when Keanu uttered the phrase: "I am a man of few words..." in his breathless, surfer-boy style. The entire audience then cheered ...ironically I hope.
11 - reggie von woic
Contrary to popular belief, has never won a Razzie Award
Yeah, he's only been nominated six times!!!!! LOL
He's never received and Oscar, Golden Globe or a Bafta nom ever, but he's still a good actor. I love him anyway :-)
12 - Major Tom
Being the former boyfriend of David Geffen, the producer power house of showbiz certainly helped the native Hawaiian whose face seems dead since the Matrix triologies. The answer to that: bottox.
He can not put his forehead into wrinkles, one of the trademarks of stars like James Dean for example.
To even call that dude an actor is really an insult to the ones who have proven to the world that they can act.
And what were the producers thinking about putting him together with Sandra Bullock. That movie looks like Will & Grace on screen without the laughter in the background.
I just wish his best co-star ever was alive. We still miss River Phoenix. But Keanu really sucks.
13 - maitri
10. Has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. They don’t just give those out, you know.
Actually, they do. All you have to do is just have your fan club raise enough money to buy it.
14 - DBD
somehow, somewhere, at some point, I came to this way of thinking, too.... Glad to see someone break it down so scientifically!
15 - Matthew T. Sussman
El Bicho: "Stankey Kubrick"
Tee hee.
16 - The Jay
Ray Ellis: I know he's Belgian. But it's funnier with German.
To all that pointed out that you CAN buy a star on the Walk of Fame.... I KNOW! I was being ironical. Try not to take all of this too literally. I am after all, just writing about Keanu Reeves.
17 - Vern Halen
Nothing to add, really, but just by coincidence, within this last hour I just finished watching Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure. Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes!
18 - Finding Neo
I have #41 for you - how many actors cry CONVINCINGLY on screen? Keanu just did it in the Lake House. Now there's a MAN for you! Let's see Tom Cruise do that - maybe he could if they knocked all his teeth out. But then the rest of us would be laughing and not crying along with him.
Thank you for this article. Most of us, if we SUCK at our jobs, get FIRED! But almost every year there's a new Keanu flick. He's had 2 each of the last few years, except for 2004, but that's because he was filming Constantine, then A Scanner Darkly. I'd say producers and directors know a lot more about what makes real acting talent than the general public, so Keanu must be worth keeping on the payrolls.
19 - Eline
Thank you for your article :-). I totally agree with you. I'm a big fan of Keanu Reeves. And I have some friends that like him very much too. Here in Brazil (I live in Rio) he has a lot of fans but there are some people that don't like him. And your article is perfect to say that Keanu is a great, gentle, humble and nice man. And YES, he is a good actor.
PS: The Lake House is opening in Brazil in August. I'm looking foward for this movie :).
20 - Melissa
Let's just say... you don't want to anger Orlando Bloom Fangirls. I would like to personally defend Orlando as being a non-pussy boy. I think the man has broken just about every bone in his body... and has bounced back from a broken spine with temporary parapelegic consequences. He, as some one mentioned before, fell from a horse breaking a rib, and was back to film the next day. I am an x-ray tech...and let me tell you.. most people that come in with bruised or broken ribs can barely breathe let alone run across rocky terrain for hours.
Next time you want to call someone a pussy-boy... I suggest you pick on someone else...(and preferably less handsome, not to mention down to earth nice). Leave Orlando...AND his eyelashes out of your love for WOOOAAHH....
21 - Silas Kain
I would like to personally defend Orlando as being a non-pussy boy
There are so many directions I could go with this statement. But, for the sake of light hearted good humer, let's just say that Orlando is a man's man as well as a woman's man.
22 - Baronius
You talk about his range, but there definitely is a standard Keanu character: the supernatural/scifi "key to the future". Johnny Mnemonic, The Devil's Advocate, The Matrix (x3), and Constantine all had fairly similar lead characters, awestruck at the convergence of spiritual forces. (Two of those movies were excellent though, so you've got to give him some credit.)
23 - Brenda
A handful more things to add to your list:
*Bought each stuntperson on the Matrix movies a motorcycle as a thank you.
*Returned $1 million back to the production for (part of) Al Pacino's salary in "The Devil's Advocate" and another $1 million for (part of) Charlize Theron's salary in "Sweet November."
*Spent much of the '80's, when not working, sitting by a hospital bed with his sister Kim (a leukemia patient).
*Gives VERY liberally to charities.
*Provided the introduction to the film "All About Karma" and the narration (with Alanis Morissette) for the documentary "The Great Warming" (about global warming & other environmental issues).
*Has worked for scale (after making it big) several times in order to be in a movie he felt was worthy/interesting ("Thumbsucker," "The Last Time I Committed Suicide," at least)
*From the Beacon Journal, 3-15-06:
"Life Imitates Art
Keanu Reeves is a hero off-screen as well as on, reports The Week.
At a California supermarket recently, he saw two teens pointing at a female cashier's name tag and sneering, 'Ukee. What kinda name is Ukee?'
Reeves told the toughs to show the woman 'some respect.'
They whirled around and gaped. 'Hey, it's the Matrix guy!' one said.
'That's right,' Reeves replied in his best Neo voice. 'And if you guys don't beat it, you'll be dealing with me.'
They fled, says the mag."
24 - Baronius
One other point: over a 20-year career, you're bound to work with a good number of top names. I was just checking John Goodman on IMDb. I don't think anyone would call him a great actor, but he's been in the business for 20 years too. He's worked with: Nicolas Cage, Holly Hunter, Tim Robbins, Paul Newman, Denzel Washington, Philip Seymour Hoffman, George Clooney, Robert De Niro, and Kevin Spacey, all of whom are Oscar winners. There are probably others, and I didn't check directors.
Yes, Keanu has worked with Charlize Theron, Sandra Bullock, and Rachel Weisz more than once. That doesn't make him smart or a good actor. He's smart enough to say, "I want to roll around on a bed with Charlize Theron some more", but what guy isn't?
25 - Steve C.
On comment #24: John Goodman may not be a Great Actor, but he's a hell of a character actor. Anyone who wishes to dispute that, I kindly direct you to watch Barton Fink and thus eat your words.