Finally. Someone has done all the heavy lifting - and pushing - for us, and brought forth not a turd, but a website subtitled "The Canonical List of Terms for Taking a Crap."
bookofjoe learned more here than anyplace I've been online in some time, and that includes britannica.com.
Here are just a few samples (!) of coming attractions, should you choose to visit Jeff's page:
Backing the trailer in
Baking some brownies
Blowing the butt trumpet
Burying an elf
Downloading some brownware
Drilling for mud bunnies
Fighting the rat
Growing a tail
Launching a butt shuttle
Making a Minnesota hand warmer
Offloading some freight
Paving the Hershey highway
Poking the turtle's head out
Article comments
1 - Dirtgrain
Poop metaphors fascinate me. I blogged on them a while ago. Here are a few that I have created over the years:
It's time to encounter that rare species, dumpus majorus
For more, check out PoopReport.com. I found two of my new favorites there: "Engelsquirt Dumperstink", and "I just Jenny Craigged." Yes, I am a connoisseur of fine vintage poop metaphors. Thanks for the link to Jeff Z's site.I got to go spelunking
I'm going to plop a burrito
I must unfurl one [I may have heard this one from someone else--I'm not sure]
2 - Tom Johnson
"Dropping the kids off at the pool" is always a classy one, too.
Would these be called "poo-phanisms"?
3 - Eric Olsen
Yes, yes, this is all well and good for generalists, but what about afficionados of subgenres like the Hershey squirts, and what of the curse of rabbit pellets?
4 - whistledick
Taking the browns to the superbowl.