In the words of Margaret Cho's mother - "I know you gay!"
But what about your car? How can you tell?
Well, for starters the website "CarTalk" is taking nominees for the ultimate "gay guy" and "gay chick" cars (yes, oh yes, I'm using their terminology). In a few weeks, after they have the nominees, voting will begin. My guesses: "gay guy" - VW Jetta & "gay chick" - Jeep Wrangler.
But if you don't want to wait for the voting, you can at least figure out if your car manufacturer is gay friendly. A new website - www.gaywheels.com - has the scoop on which manufacturers accept (and not just tolerate) the pink dollar. The site also has a tool to get price quotes and information on insurance.
And for those who want the international perspective, check out the UK's Top Ten Gay Cars.
And if you do happen to find you have a gay car - don't worry. While you may have a problem getting a gay marriage license, getting your gay drivers license should be much easier.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Steve S
My car is a pontiac gran prix that has sat in the driveway for two years refusing to tolerate being started. Must be straight.
My partner wants a Hummer. Sounds gay.
2 - Lono
My car is not gay, and frankly I am upset by the implication. Your car, however, is fabulously gay.
See, I drive a Ford F-250 Powerstroke Turbe Diesel. That tells the world two critical things:
I ain't gay,
but I got a small dick
3 - gonzo marx
oh Lono, say it ain't so?
but then again, i have doubts about that truck
i heard a Rumor that RealCon has the same truck...but he was told it is a gay truck...
so he burned his lips on the tailpipe trying to blow it up...
>insert rimshot here<
yes kiddies, i said "blow, tailpipe, and rimshot" all in the same bit...
i'm here all week at the wonderful Ramada Room...Murph and the Magictones will be back after a short break...
don't go changin'
Excelsior!
4 - Bennett
Justin, you RULE! Great post, serious and thoughtful comments...
Steve, Lono and gonzo, thanks for the laugh!
My '96 GMC Sonoma stepside is too small to be a really macho truck, but it IS a truck. So does that mean I'm straight AND have large accessories?
5 - Dave Nalle
Everyone knows the ultimate gay vehicle is a lipstick-red half-ton pickup truck. We've got a local park where gay folks go for tawdry hook-ups, and the red pickups are literally lined up wheel to wheel. It's an unavoidable observed phenomenon.
Dave
6 - Bennett
Dave, or it could be a Texas thing...
7 - Dave Nalle
Nah, the first time I observed this phenomenon was in Pennsylvania, actually. The gay scout leader who lived next door to me had a red pickup with flames on the sides. I think it's universal.
Dave
8 - Bennett
"had a red pickup with flames on the sides."
Oh man, talk about symbolism!
My truck is white, no flames, black interior, no bumper stickers, 97k miles. Best car I've ever owned.
9 - Todd Fox
Here is a good followup to this story:
American Family Association Boycotting Ford over Gay Cars, Trucks
10 - DrPat
I am firmly against gay cars - I want my truck and my sedan to be straight so when they get it on in the garage at night, I can look forward to the birth of a Mini-Cooper (or at least a motorcyle) 9 months later.
11 - uao
I'm not gay (not that there's anything wrong with that), but I did have a VW Jetta; a 16-year old ratty one.
A distinction should be drawn: a shiny new upscale-looking Jetta might be favored among gay men. (I'd love to know how that data is collected). But a beater is a beater, regardless of make.
And if anyone is thinking of buying a beater VW: don't do it!! The money I thought I saved by spending $1200 for a car was negated by the $6000 in repairs I spent (fuel pump, water pump, radiator, engine mounts, battery, alternator, brake pads, rotors, power window, speedometer, etc. etc.)
Now I drive a beater Toyota Corolla (only 13 years old when I bought it two years ago) I keep it filthy so everyone thinks I'm straight. You should see me cruise Sunset in it; it's a real chick magnet ;-)
Nice post, though, Justin.
12 - Steve S
A filthy Toyota Corolla is a chick magnet? Um, chicks strung out on crack maybe.
Gay gym bunnies prefer topless jeeps. Lesbians prefer volkswagens. Conservative gays prefer SUVs/Hummers.
Most gay people in urban areas (Castro, West Hollywood at least), drive a Schwinn.
Rich gay people prefer Mercedes and Lexus.
Most gay people in the midwest that I knew, drove pickups. But then everybody drove pickups.
The only red pickup I've ever seen was driven by one of my ex-girlfriends. It was a really old one, in the style of American Graffitti. You could see that behemoth coming from a mile away, the truck from a half mile away.
13 - jarboy
my car claims to be asexual but i think he's he's either afraid of intimacy or gay and doesn't want to face it.
14 - Justin Cole
You guys crack me up! Your comments are cracking me up. :)
15 - Duane
Dear Sirs:
This topic might be funny to some of you, but lately my car is starting to worry me, and, well, I just don't think it's a laughing matter. I used to think he was really macho, and I know he got a lot of attention from the chick cars, you know, the Cabriolets and Corollas, and what not. But now, whenever we go out, he's taken to insisting on wearing a bra. Something about rock spray, and I don't know if that's supposed to be slang for something else, and ... well, I don't really want to think too much about that. Should I worry?
Regards, etc.
16 - jarboy
where does it wear the bra? does your car have man tits?
17 - Craig
I have a souped up 2002 2-dr Civic with a Buddy Club bodykit and black BBS RX2 rims. Metallic Orange paint with black GReddy/BBS/Apex'i/HKS decals. I can't say this is gay, but the fact that it's a Civic might make it a queer car...
18 - Jet in Columbus
I have a 2004 Chrysler Sebring Convertible.
It's inferno Red, with a rainbow sticker on the back.
That qualifies, I think
...but that's only my opinion
19 - blackbob
I have a 02 Trailblazer,.. an im telling ya, it really didnt boost my masculinity very much.. im still gay...haha
20 - Sharkie
When I went out the other day, I saw my Prius boffing a neighbor and her daughter at the same time. I can't believe some people are saying it's a gay car. I gotta move before the paternity suits hit.
21 - Alex
Is a gay car one that runs up the back end of another one?
22 - Nancy
I have a 97 Saturn SL-1; it's too old to think about sex anymore. But it gets 40 MPG, even if it only goes 70 mph tops (5o up hills).
23 - Tom
A gay car prefers the Hershey highway to the interstate.
24 - Mike
I have a 2006 Prius. Gay or not gay?
25 - Chewy
A gay car is one with a loose, worn-out tailpipe.