Consider the prevalence of looters, terrorists, murderers and rapists during war time. What part of their experience have you shared some part of? Anger? Fear? Selfishness? Misuse of power? Disrespect for human life? Greedy grasping for as much crap as you can haul away with you? Have you ever been so angry at someone that you frankly didn't care how they felt about you or your actions? Have you ever wondered what you could get away with if the law were seemingly powerless to deter you, even if it were just stealing a pack of gum? Have you ever believed in something so strongly that you would stop at almost nothing to get your point across? Have you ever found it difficult to stop yourself from having the last word in an argument when you are certain you are right? What potential power do you possess, for good or ill, when your passions are stirred?
Very often when we are in disagreement with others our emotional reaction makes it extremely difficult to avoid escalating conflict. In the heat of anger, very few people are able to step outside of the energy and get curious about why people do what they do. When we feel ourselves to be in the morally superior position, few of us stop and say to those we oppose, "Wow, that's interesting, I hold the exact opposite view. Tell me more because you are blowing my mind and I want to figure out what the world looks like through your eyes. "
I know, this all sounds terribly idealistic and touchy-feely. Nothing could be further than the truth. This is fierce communication and it is considerably harder to do than it is to write about. Seeking understanding and practicing non-violence is the height of courage and takes tremendous strength of character to embrace. It is far easier to simply listen for the errors in those you disagree with, waiting for the point where you can jump in and prove, in ever more colorful and impassioned language, just how wrong the other guy is.
It is the easiest thing in the world to make someone else wrong. It is the hardest thing to make them right and to recognize the part of your enemy that is also in you.
We prefer to see the best of ourselves reflected in the best of those around us. We want to identify with those who are doing good and attempting to make a difference in the world. What are they reflecting that you share some piece of? Compassion? Love? Selflessness? Desire to help? Drive to make a difference? Nice things to identify with to be sure. Easy to feel like a patriot when you feel proud of those who are representing the best your country has to offer. That sense of kinship is incredibly powerful.
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