Nothing HAS to be relevant.
Is it possible that nothing and no one is inherently meaningful to me?
I create. I destroy. I conjure up. I let go.
Funny thoughts from someone who cries from the very first line in The Little Prince.
That's where this doesn't hold up. I didn't choose to let that story touch me. The emotions just come. But what is that, really? Is it that I am touched by the truth of the message or am I moved to grief because it's a lie?
Maybe I wanted to be domesticated. And maybe in some ways, I have been. I mean, even in 20 years if I hear a reference to the time in Des Plaines my thoughts will turn to Mike and it will probably make me smile, and it might even make me cry and I will miss him in that moment.
But what of all the moments in between?
What defines us? What gives us meaning?
It can't be externally determined. That, indeed, makes hell other people. So, it has to be internally decided and if we have the choice then isn't everything just a product of our own imagination? One vast projection?
Of course.
So I can choose to project nothing.
I just don't know if that's all there is.
Is it true that we really ARE all connected and what happens to one of us does matter or is the truth that we really are all irrelevant little drama machines boring God to tears, having created God because every actor needs an audience.
Maybe that's why we pray...to capture God and make him listen.
Is there any way to know? Would knowing make the slightest difference
Article comments
1 - lneev
Grief is not a choice and Katrina rocked my world that I had -had for 20 years. Divorced Mom with teenage daughter living out of our city for months. One of the lucky who had insurance to rebuild -- but we will be surrounded by destruction of those who cannot repair. This will take years to get anywhere near normal. You search to see the positive ignoring the decay and rubble. I want my New Orleans back. I want the looters gone. I want politicians that are not corrupt and racist... I want a better city with values, culture, great food and lots of soul...somewhere we are proud to call home.
2 - Laura Young
I can't imagine the devastation you have gone through. It has been hard enough to contemplate the loss of one significant human being in my life and for you to have lost so much, on so many levels...people, possessions, a sense of security, any faith at all in politicians and bureaucrats. No part of your life was untouched in this. For those of us living so far away, there will always be some level of abstraction in this, but for you, as you say, returning to be right in the middle of so much loss that can never be replaced...it's mind-boggling really.
Yes, you know, that journal entry of mine was written a couple years ago. So much reflection has happened since then. There is so much of life to absorb and it's so hard to do that when losses of such magnitude are thrust upon you.
Thank you for reminding us that much healing still lies ahead for New Orleans.
Thoughts and prayers go with you,
L