At my blog, I have been posting a series of articles from my personal journal exploring the issue of anticipatory grief and what is meaningful in our lives as we contemplate the mortality of those we love, as well as our own. As I was posting a journal entry I had written earlier this summer I saw many parallels to challenges I think we face in such a large country as we attempt to wrap our minds around the losses resulting from Katrina when, the reality is that, for many of us geographically removed the only actual result of this in our day to day lives is showing up at the gas pump. For many of us, the rest of the impact can be conjured up or not depending on where we choose to place our attention.
It's a tricky issue, and not entirely comfortable to dive in to but one I that I think warrants some consideration as we look at how we, as individuals face situations of the magnitude of Katrina and 9/11.
I offer you excerpts of my the journal entry for your own contemplation. In this entry, I wondered if it was possible that the anticipated loss of my dear friend could mean nothing to me if I allowed my life to fill with other things. The imagery I pulled in to my writing 5 months ago was not lost on me today.
No word for many days. Now you see him, now you don't and I find myself letting the space be full, complete. Maybe he's just gone. Can I accept that he is an ephemeral, here and gone that quickly and is it possible I wouldn't grieve at all?
When there is this space between us it starts to become easy to manipulate "reality."
Today I will focus on you as the sole reason for all I do. Or maybe today I will hand you over to God, or to yourself, and trust that you will carry on just as you have been for 46 years.
Article comments
1 - lneev
Grief is not a choice and Katrina rocked my world that I had -had for 20 years. Divorced Mom with teenage daughter living out of our city for months. One of the lucky who had insurance to rebuild -- but we will be surrounded by destruction of those who cannot repair. This will take years to get anywhere near normal. You search to see the positive ignoring the decay and rubble. I want my New Orleans back. I want the looters gone. I want politicians that are not corrupt and racist... I want a better city with values, culture, great food and lots of soul...somewhere we are proud to call home.
2 - Laura Young
I can't imagine the devastation you have gone through. It has been hard enough to contemplate the loss of one significant human being in my life and for you to have lost so much, on so many levels...people, possessions, a sense of security, any faith at all in politicians and bureaucrats. No part of your life was untouched in this. For those of us living so far away, there will always be some level of abstraction in this, but for you, as you say, returning to be right in the middle of so much loss that can never be replaced...it's mind-boggling really.
Yes, you know, that journal entry of mine was written a couple years ago. So much reflection has happened since then. There is so much of life to absorb and it's so hard to do that when losses of such magnitude are thrust upon you.
Thank you for reminding us that much healing still lies ahead for New Orleans.
Thoughts and prayers go with you,
L