So, okay, we have people who are exposing the misdeeds of others in a cyberspace court of public opinion. Of course this pisses off the cheaters because they want a higher threshold standard of guilt/proof or because they disagree with the concept of outting anyone publicly for what they feel should be a private matter. However, here's my personal look at another beneficial perspective of the people making these claims.
If someone posted my picture/profile in a database and I learned of it but it wasn't true, then I probably wouldn't waste my time even rebutting it. Why? Because if I'm innocent, then the burden is not on me to prove such, at least not under American jurisprudence — legal or moral. And I don't use and abuse people online or off - so I am not afraid of scrutiny. In short - its a catharsis the victims won't get anywhere else. What are the victims of these men and women to do with their anger, pain and hurt? Suck it up and allow the abuser to move on to another victim? Tell or not tell his spouse, partner or family? Stew in their feelings?
One exposure site owner says:
It is better than going out and slashing his tires. It makes them feel good and gives them a way to express their bitterness and hate."
In light of precedents like these, it's extremely likely that any law that simply tried to ban cheating men/women sites, information aggregators like Zabasearch or "digital dossiers," would be struck down as contrary to the First Amendment. But could a more narrowly written law constitutionally restrict such sites and dossiers and be on the books soon? Some feel yes, such a law would be desirable. Some feel no, that the internet should not be restricted in such a manner as long as it does not pose a threat, symbolic or otherwise, to the persons posted as long as the information is true and proveable.
Perhaps if you are a guilty party, rather than trying to cut down the person(s) exposing you it would be better to call a qualified internet addiction counselor to stop your abusing ways. You would be doing everyone, including yourself, a favor. Then, see what you can do to get the posting removed without a counterattack. Just talking to the person(s) you suspect posted it and working on the friendship honestly seems better than a Judge Judy or Jerry Springer hate-fest.
Article comments
1 - texanrose
Gee, that opens up another way that we could be victimized again, however, I do believe that victims of these type of predators should be allowed a voice. It is ok to print the all ready public stuff such as the criminal backgrounds as that is all public anyway. However, it takes common sense not to publish the addresses or phone numbers of the predators, think in my opinion of the law, they are protected. We as victims need to change the laws, so that if predators find their victims on the internet, they should be banned from ever using a computer again, or any form of communication that will allow them to find a victim. Remember I became a victim through the United States Postal System. The good old snail mail approach. Sometimes the laws will never cover what they need to cover, and predators being predators will always find a loophole. We need to continue to educate the public so that there will be less victims, and more justice.
2 - Purple Tigress
I don't believe the Web site allows the publication of addresses and phone numbers. This isn't the only site and this site doesn't post photos. I know of another Web site where photos can be posted.
The laws about defamation of character, slander and libel require that the information be untrue, the person targeted have his/her reputation seriously damaged and that person must not be a public figure.
The Web site in question doesn't seem to allow for outside search (in other words, allowing the names of the cheaters to be subject to key word searches). So the exposure to peers that would constitute damage isn't there.
I think something that might be more open to litigation would be the sale of photos of ex-girlfriends on eBay. The sale of images for profit usually requires a signed release form.
3 - Fighter
the following websites are "exposure sites." some, I noted DO allow for a person's information (not the ones mentioned in the article)
datingpsychos.com
ripoffreport.com
also if you surf someone's nickname, sometimes their real name can be found and a quick perusal thru zabasearch or bigyellow can pretty much tell you anything you want to know.
4 - Ann
Wow!! Great article - a lot of things I never really thought about or paid much attention to!
5 - OneOfSeven
Fantastic article and it will be quite interesting to see how this all plays out. When exposing the psychopath/sociopath, abuser, cheater, bigamist, the con artist---keep in mind the definitions of defamation, slander, and libel. If you expose, be prepared to back up your statements with court documentation and other concrete evidence of the abuser's behavior. And let us not forget the rights given to us under the First Amendment of the US Constitution....VERY IMPORTANT!
6 - Shelly
I love the article! It is so true when she asks "What are we to do with our pain?" Many people don't understand the agony that a victim goes through without closure. On our site, we talk about closure in our free turtorial--there is conceptual closure (the ideal kind) and retrobutive closure (the kind that makes you feel great and requires nothing from the abuser). These exposure sites are the second kind. Go check it out.
Thanks Fighhter for a great article.
7 - Charlie
You are completely off base, my current wife is pissed off about a post about myself by a vindictive ex, that I had arrested because she's a psycho. If you support these kind of people, and the lies they spread, then you are one too. I'm seriously considering filing suit, because everything taht was said about me was a lie, nothing can be proved, however I can prove the obosite, court records and arrest records don't lie.
8 - Jane
Great article! The owners of websites like womansavers.com and bashmyex.com are not liable because they are not the authors. If untruths are posted, it is up to the accused party to prove what the author wrote is false. These types of websites are protected under 1996 Communications Decency Act and also the First Amendment, Freedom of Speech.
9 - Anonymous
This site allows pictures to be posted, however they post pictures of the women their ex's lied to as well. Most of the posts are vicious, lies and the mods back up the ones that have been cheated on. Names and names of towns/cities are posted with the pictures, as well as places these people can be found. This opens a can of worms. If the posted person (usually a woman)not the man that cheated, where to be hurt or killed, who is liable. Where is thier protection under law. Because the spouse cheated, does that make it ok for the other person to be victimized either by the spouse that feels justified by their actions because they are angry and hurt? Last time I checked you cant batter someone or hit someone because you are angry. So, it is lawful to put them and possible family members in jeopardy? I would hope in this country it is not the case.
10 - Anonymous
cheaternews.com is allowing women to become endangered.
11 - TordBoontje
I found this site reading a profile posted for Phil Kassel on Don't Date Him Girl. This site does a great service and empowers women to stay safe and protect themselves from men who abuse women even through the church.
12 - Doug
It's the new companion to online dating. Its a shame that someone's history can be plastered all over the web but women need to know about men who abuse women. I'm a guy and I am friends with all women I have dated. Things ended on good terms and with men of character the woman doesn't end up despising the ex. I have a friend that was posted and although he will never admit it he deserves to be posted for what he did.
13 - Slinky
Thanks for great information. Phil Kassel and other abusers need to be exposed so that women can see the warning signs and avoid being mistreated.