Seven months after the fall of Baghdad, the verdict is in: the U.S. invasion has been a success.
The U.S. hoped to accomplish three goals by invading Iraq: seize strategic control of Iraqi oil, bolster Israeli apartheid, and divert attention from the White House's corrupt economic agenda. By these measures, it's mission accomplished!
Although it's having trouble getting the oil out of the ground, the Pentagon has firm control of this resource. Ariel Sharon's murderous oppression of the Palestinians, including the building of the Apartheid Wall, continues, helped along by generous subsidies from the U.S. And the GOP is busily dismantling popular environmental and health regulations while logjamming any opposition to media consolidation.
Of course, there have been a few losers.
Saddam has temporarily lost the use of his Baghdad headquarters, and will have to wait out the U.S. occupation from his office in Tikrit. Prospects will no doubt brighten for the old thug right after Election Day next year, when the U.S. cuts and runs.
The Iraqi people are suffering from an occupation that manages to be both inept and brutal, and now face years of unspeakable deprivation and violence.
Thousands of American soldiers have been maimed or killed by the invasion. Luckily for the GOP, Republicans don’t fight in wars. They simply send lower-income kids to do their dirty work.
Millions of Americans will be doing without adequate health insurance and education to pay for the bloated U.S. military.
Pro-war liberals, big government conservatives, and other suckers who thought the war was about finding WMDs and spreading democracy have been made to look like total fools.
And of course, the pursuit of empire abroad has shredded the Constitution at home and threatens to put an end to 200+ years of republican self-government. Oh well!
I for one think these are small prices to pay for our great Iraqi adventure. Congratulations all around to the victors!
Article comments
1 - blake
you are a tool, douchebag
2 - Mark Saleski
you are a tool, douchebag
hey, is today malformed-dna day?
i didn't get the invite or anything.
3 - mike
"you are a tool, douchebag"
Thank you. That means a lot to me.
4 - Mac Diva
Whoa, Mike! Have you forgotten this is Blogcritics, which is dominated by Right Wingers? 'Tool' and 'douchebag' are going to be the least of it, bro.
5 - Chris Arabia
thanks for the plug, mike. your homage* to me is about the only redeeming feature in this criminally subpar satire attempt. if i ever need poorly articulated malice, i'll be in touch.
*in all the blogosphere, mike selects me, someone who hasn't blogged about iraq since like late september. thanks, pal.
6 - mike
Who said it was satire?
7 - Chris Arabia
well, it's either a really stupid piece of satire or a really stupid piece of non-satire, so keep rearranging those deck chairs, envy boy.
8 - Joe
I would have commented, but I found it exceptionally unremarkable.