Interview with JuJu: The Elephant God

greetings again, gentle Reader...

so much going on, from little things like a fellow BC'er suffering some old fashioned existential angst to another contributer in the middle of Jerusalem in the middle of a War

one can't help but be drawn in by both the micro and the macro nowadays, just as one cannot help but Wonder where IS the Spirit(s) that so much Death and War have been caused by over the centuries

since there is only one Entity on that Plane who will take my Calls, i figured it may be time to get some Answers, as best as i am able, from the Source... so i dropped the metaphysical Dime, left a Message.... and waited for the Callback

didn't take long, really

you Called? rumbled the Voice in my skull... "yes, yes i did, O Wise and Mighty..."

cut that out, you know I do not have much patience for simpering bipeds, why have you Called?

"well, i was Wondering, if you have the Time, of course... if you could help me Understand a bit better... maybe Answer a few questions?"

ever see a 39 feet high at the shoulder elephant shrug? it's like watching a house wiggle

sure, why not

now i was getting excited, finally... some Insight

"well, you see.. there's a lot of strife on Earth right now, has been for quite a while really... and a lot of it could be cleared up if God would just make his Will known... you know, like he used to in the Bible and all...a lot of that is what a lot of the fighting is about, arguing over Scripural things...and i was Wondering why He doesn't just set the record straight or something...."

which One are you talking about? doesn't matter, really...they are all playing fizzbin, the Game's been going for a while now. Zeus went out early but Odin is still hanging in there...YHWH is still going, but a little behind, Jehovah and Allah are tied...they kicked Lucifer, Satan and Loki out for cheating so Hades went off to skulk, Vishnu is playing 3 hands and a bunch of the others come in and out on occasion...it's a pretty big Game...

"wait a minute, let me get this right...they're...playing....cards?"

well, yes...a little bit of Fun, what's wrong with that?

"oh..no...nothing, of course...i'm just a bit...um...suprised? stunned perhaps, taken off guard, certainly...i mean, i had thought they invented fizzbin on the tv show Star Trek...?"

no, that was Inspired...it was a very tight Round that week, and some of the Excitement spilled over into your Dimension...it was the same week the Enlightened started the pool to see how much longer the Dalai Lama would reIncarnate...Gandhi thinks he will stick it out , but Jesus and Buddha are betting this is the last One

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Article Author: gonzo marx

digital Ronin, systemic diagnostician, and Jester of the Aether...
a working stiff since age 13, a gaming enthusiast who still indulges his hobby, a "reactionary writer" and familiar Heckler in the comments sections here at BC

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  • Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure [Region 2] Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure [Region 2]

    Like, radical, dude--but not nearly as funny as it should be, even though it was a box-office hit. Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter are a pair of dim Valley boys, whose life is made heinous by a school history project. ...

Article comments

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  • 1 - Jet in Columbus

    Jul 20, 2006 at 11:27 pm

    Somehow I knew this was cumming.... uh coming.

  • 2 - gonzo marx

    Jul 20, 2006 at 11:36 pm

    that's it Jet?

    one Pun?

    i feel so....so....so....

    used

    /sniffles

    Excelsior?

  • 3 - Matthew T. Sussman

    Jul 20, 2006 at 11:38 pm

    What's really scary here, people, is that a higher being uses Gonzo's same typography.

  • 4 - Jet in Columbus

    Jul 20, 2006 at 11:43 pm

    What Gonzo, something crass about the line "it was a very tight round?"

  • 5 - gonzo marx

    Jul 20, 2006 at 11:45 pm

    where do ya think i got it from Suss?

    and He likes Planters best.... it si said, when you die...He weighs yer soul, if yer Good, you go to Paradise...if yer Bad He pops you into His mouth and poops you out to make the fields fertile...

    if yer in the grey area...he CAN be persuaded with peanuts...

    now, i'm not sure how much i was being snowed here, but just in case...

    i'm getting buried with a bag of peanuts

    Excelsior?

  • 6 - Jet in Columbus

    Jul 20, 2006 at 11:47 pm

    I just figured it'd go without saying that the elephant was republican

  • 7 - duane

    Jul 20, 2006 at 11:48 pm

    Well, there it is, then. I guess the problem is, if someone decides to transgress, and is not excellent to us, should we and can we still be excellent to them? Is there a line to be drawn? What would JuJu do if someone stomped on his most glorious foot?

  • 8 - Jet in Columbus

    Jul 20, 2006 at 11:52 pm

    See Gonzo, all I did was make one innocent comment on a virgin string and within seconds all hell broke loose!

    Carus deus, quis have ego commissio?
    Jet

  • 9 - gonzo marx

    Jul 20, 2006 at 11:56 pm

    well of course, duane...

    one is allowed to Defend oneself from another, i've put the Ethic for that in other Comments...but it's worth Repeating...

    do not Fight if you can walk away
    if you must Fight, do not Harm
    if you must Harm, do not Cripple
    if you must Cripple do not Maim
    if you must Maim do not Kill
    and if you must Kill, then you bear Responsibility for Death...

    oh yes...trust me, NOBODY is gona try and stomp on His foot

    but i digress...

    Excelsior?

  • 10 - Jet in Columbus

    Jul 20, 2006 at 11:57 pm

    Somehow I'm missing a Jimmy Carter joke in here somewhere...

  • 11 - Jet in Columbus

    Jul 20, 2006 at 11:59 pm

    In other words "When it is necessary to bluff, always bluff big" especially with that big of a foot?

  • 12 - gonzo marx

    Jul 21, 2006 at 2:04 am

    bah... no need for Him to bluff, check the revelation in comment #5

    i ain't interested in becoming fertilizer

    Excelsior?

  • 13 - Al Barger

    Jul 21, 2006 at 3:00 am

    You think you're pretty clever with your Elephant God and your heresy, don't you Gonzo?

    Yeah, well my God can beat up your God- and you don't even want a piece of Gopher God.

  • 14 - gonzo marx

    Jul 21, 2006 at 3:20 am

    well big Al....

    all i can say is that gophers are a bit tiny compared to elephants...

    and when last seen, the two of them were hanging out drinking Ambrosia and eating my peanuts...

    Excelsior?

  • 15 - troll

    Jul 21, 2006 at 8:33 am

    gods extorting gold/gods extorting peanuts...what's the diff

    keep the mice handy I say

    troll

  • 16 - chantal

    Jul 21, 2006 at 9:30 am

    all kidding aside.....

    gonzo this is an amazing interview, you seem to have been given the same Message that so many have F-ed up over the millenia....

    One wonders how many more times the same Message will have to be given to us before we finally understand and take heed.

    A very wise man once wrote (and anyone who knows who it is gets extra credit): "Everything you need to know is spread at you feet and scattered throughout your life."

    any guesses?

    It was our very own, John Spivey.

    And the point, I think that so so many miss, is that regardless of which God you listen to, whether its the Dalai, Jehovah, Allah, the gopher or the Elephant....the message is the same. The cool part is, when they built us, they built that part in....It's right in there next to Free Will.

    We know what we need to know to become enlightened. It's in us already. We just need to take a moment to shut off the other noise and listen. And when your Falwells, and jihadists, and other extremists start blabbering away, it's only because they stopped listening to the inner Light, and started to listen to the inner Ego.

    thats just my thought anyway...

  • 17 - gonzo marx

    Jul 21, 2006 at 11:35 am

    and a fine Thought it is, Chantal...

    then again, troll may have nailed it about the mice...

    but i digress

    Excelsior?

  • 18 - John Spivey

    Jul 21, 2006 at 3:29 pm

    Gonzo-
    Ganesh called. He wants proper credit. What's this Juju stuff?

    A Hindu sage once told a Westerner that the Earth was supported on the back of a great elephant. The Westerner of course asked what the elephant was standing on.

    "Sir," said the sage, "it's elephants all the way down."

    Chantal-
    My wife would probably differ with your opinion of me.

  • 19 - gonzo marx

    Jul 21, 2006 at 4:45 pm

    John...
    heh, thanks for reading , JuJu=Heinlein sub-ref...sort of.. besides, Genesh won't take my calls...probably because my sanskrit is lousy

    oh yes.. and yer Wife is teasing you... you were Wise enough to marry her, eh?

    Excelsior?

  • 20 - Jet in Columbus

    Jul 21, 2006 at 4:59 pm

    I still say it's because the damned elephant was a republican and probably a hetrosexual one at that...

    Carus deus, quis have ego commissio?
    Jet

  • 21 - Jet in Columbus

    Jul 21, 2006 at 5:00 pm

    I KNOW I'll regret asking this but why Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure??? please be gentle...

  • 22 - gonzo marx

    Jul 21, 2006 at 7:00 pm

    well Jet, glad yer back from the doctor's ok...!!

    as for why ?

    gee, i had thought that He had explanied it in the Article, it was a bit fo a mistake in choosing two stoned guys for Prophets... but they did get the Message right..

    "be Excellent to each other"

    silly folks... i know the straight Comedy is readily apparent, i guess i'm just too obscure and esotericwhen it comes to putting in other Layers of meaning...

    ah well, and yas Wonder why i don't write often, lol...

    Jesting, of course

    Excelsior?

  • 23 - Clavos

    Jul 22, 2006 at 4:35 pm

    Al's "...god don't take no crap,..." which begs the question, where does JuJu...? I mean it IS an ummm--elephantine problem, no?

    Even troll's mice can't help there...

  • 24 - gonzo marx

    Jul 22, 2006 at 4:46 pm

    wel Clavos, as Revealed in comment #5 JuJu, may his Tusks always glow with the Light of Reason, fertilizes the World with the proceeds of his holy Ailementary canal...

    that's the Story, anyway...

    He is pretty consistent, so few Rules after all...

    Excelsior?

  • 25 - John Spivey

    Jul 22, 2006 at 5:37 pm

    Mightn't the Big Bang be an expression of JuJu's Holy Flatulence?

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