There is one rule when dealing with something as tacky as a pink flamingo. If one knows said critter is incredibly tacky and in terribly bad taste, it is entirely acceptable to let it appear at various formal occasions. If one is using it as a decorating centerpiece and feels it is entirely acceptable to do so, then, frankly (let me put this as politely as possible), you have a serious problem and need to take two decorating classes and call Martha Stewart in the morning!
Pink flamingos are wonderful items. They are so incredibly tacky they rank up there with rhinestone sunglasses and stiletto heel mules. They can be used as a political statement, which is something I only recently learned when my absolutely adorable hairdresser informed me they were the lesbian equivalent of the gay rainbow. Who knew? They can be used as a decorating statement, especially when one wishes to annoy one’s mother. And, once in a while, they actually have great worth, such as an original Audubon print or my wonderful Armani statue. They are also very good things when hanging from a hot pink tabletop Christmas Tree (it’s the reward of your holiday guests laughing so loud they spill their Champagne cocktails).
Palm trees can also be tacky when properly manipulated into situations with pink flamingos, stiletto mules, skintight jeans, and rhinestone sunglasses. I love palm trees, but then I’m originally from Florida, the land of the eternal tacky. Don’t get me wrong; I love living in New Mexico, but sometimes I long for the sound of the ocean and the clattle of palm fronds. Okay, I would love to have one of those six foot well-lit palm trees to use outside my condo at Christmas, but do you actually think I’m gonna fork out nearly two hundred bucks for it?
Along that line, decorator textiles such as state dishcloths, napkins, and table coverings can also cross the line from the tacky to the sublime. Unfortunately, when used with cottage style or shabby chic, they are no longer tacky. When added to a decorating motif that includes shell lamps, sapphire blue gazing balls, and little Dutch boy and girl salt and pepper shakers, they are just plain pathetic. They then transcend fun and show a terrible want of actual style. We must not make fun of such people, especially when we’re probably related to half of ‘em!
Article comments